The silent assassin

equality never means equal

2010-04-12T13:27:00.001-07:00

I'm sure that the people reading this have all encountered this problem, some group or another demanding equality with another with whom they feel disenfranchised. They want more pay, more benefits, and better opportunities. That's all well and good but they call it this thing called equality, which is exactly what it isn't. Take for instance the handicapped; they push mostly for equal access to facilities that everyone can use. A very admirable goal indeed and one that should be heard and respected. However it isn't exactly what they want. Anyone who has been to an amusement park in recent history knows the lines are long and tedious. So places like Disneyland install ramps and elevators and all so that those in wheelchairs can have access. But they also want the same people to mandate that they get put on first in line. Of course it would be equal if they had to wait too but they want the ability to ride, without the hassle of having to wait, because that's not fair...I'm confused Or take for example the feminist; they desire equal wages, equal rights and equal consideration. Wonderful, but I'm sure if we had the titanic again, even the hardest feminist would be pushing people to the side and throwing men overboard under the consideration " women and children first" Because when it comes to the benefit of chilvalry, oh we suddenly don't want to be equal. If you were you should be right there next to me listening to the band sing "row row row the boat..." Or when someone breaks into our house suddenly I find myself up to bat to confront the guy with the gun... Like if I go down to check it out he is going to put the gun down and we will enjoy a beer, but if you go down it will be dangerous. Now understand I practice chivalry, but fair is fair. However there will be one exception, for those who want to go topless because men can, I agree. Another example is the illegal immigrants. Now disregarding the fact that they are illegal because I can't see how it is fair to make them take a test about our nation that the majority of natural citizens can't pass. But they want equal pay, which is fine, and social security when they are older I understand. And unemployment that's ok. But taxes, well to that it becomes no habla engles. Oh wait we don't want to pay taxes sorry. When it comes to English too the excuse is simple I want to protect my heritage so I can't be bothered to learn your language. Then here is your shit job and shit pay next. I wouldn't expect if I went to Mexico that I would be given the luxury to speak my native tongue so neither should you. Keep in mind there are some people wanting equality for humble reasons, which is honorable. One such group is those for gay marriage. Why not? Although the Catholic Church promotes that it is wrong and immoral, marriage was for thousands of years, not a religious institution. This coming from my pastor mind you. Marriage was handed to the church because the courts in medieval Europe couldn't handle the record keeping and the church was given the job to prevent incest and forced marriage and such. Besides the church apparently has little problem with sodomizing little boys, seeing as how the Pope moved priest around knowing what was going on. Yes I'm catholic and I do believe, but the church is run by men and sometimes men are flawed. And as for the bicycles that feel that equality entitles them to ride their bike in the middle of the street, you are retarded that's why we have sidewalks and bike paths, just for you :) Peace and love

A little more personal

2008-06-16T21:21:00.002-07:00

Most things I post on facebook because, well it is things that either need to be know to everyone or things that people might chose to read. It is the major reason that I haven't posted here in a long time. Here it is definitely more relaxed and open, even though more people can read it. That being said lets get right down to it. Right now as I am writing this, I can say that finally I am in a good place. I am having a lot of fun in Denver, especially working with my staff. All of them are awesome, funny and I would change it at all. It is definitely a breath of fresh air from Golden, where everything kinda slowly but surely went downhill. I stretched myself so much further than I ever should have, indeed slowly tore myself to pieces. I got through another year at mines, though towards the end it got to be really difficult combined with everything else that was going on. I did date Cassie despite being cautioned by my friends. It was my first real relationship that lasted for any real length of time, and I can honestly say that I don't think it was a mistake at all. I do still care for her to this day, and I know that some people might ask why, and I don't really have an answer. She is one of a very select few who really understands me. It is a shame then, that things had to end the way they did when I left Golden. We broke up because her friend Angela convinced her that I was evil beyond belief, and I didn't know how to read her when she wanted to have sex, and we never got that far. I never left her side, never stood in her way whenever she needed help with anything even after we broke up. She found someone else to preform faster and I let it go, although it really wasn't my choosing.

I learned that I am really good at reading people early in the year, and I began to have more trust in myself , more confidence, which is an amazing thing to have, considering I came from the shy guy in the corner who couldn't ever approach anyone. I learned that being bold and confident are the best ways to get to know people. It is also a good for respect and dignity. I was kinda a doormat for a long time because I had little confidence in myself. Being cocky though, isn't a good position though because you lose your edge and laziness sets in. I went out and learned how to dance, with much success and I'm no longer afraid of dance floors. I'm not the best but I can hold my own. I also learned that I'm decent at writing, and I am really good helping people with issues, both mental and emotional. I guess learning to listen was a good thing after all. Listening and remembering key details also have other benefits.

I was stretched thin at that point though because coming out of being everyone's doormat and trying to vie for respect isn't an easy task. That combined with the stress of school and the desire to date again, wore me dangerously thin. Cassie and I got close again though and I really had the desire to go back and redo the whole thing right the second time. It is something that I don't think I will ever be able to completely get out of my mind. We came so close and I know that she felt the same way because we talked about it many times when she was drunk. I knew it was hurting her the same way it was me, but whenever she was sober she forgot the night before and therefore I didn't really have the grounds to bring it up.

Now it seems like a dream because I don't see her ever bringing it up to me again. I knew we were close though so I was always there for her, and the night that I had to stay and watch over her when she tried to drink herself into a coma was a wonderful night for both of us. Bad circumstances to be sure, but we really came to the same page and I was incredibly happy. From there on out I was the one that she came to to talk to, which didn't bother me at all. We had our fair share of flirty conversations, but Angela made sure that we never went back to where we had been. I could have been there for her indefinitely because when you care for someone it is very hard to turn your back on them. It only bugged me when she decided to talk to me about other people that I couldn't help but feel like I was the one being used as an emotional dishrag. It wasn't the fact that there were other people, just that I was always the one that she came to to talk to, but I was isolated from ever seeing her otherwise. I got pulled out of the situation by my roommates, although it wasn't easy and it was a bit harsh. They basically forced the issue of either I was by her side or she had no right to do anything. She chose the latter which hurts, simply because it's always hard to lose a good friend. It was her choice though and I respected it. I still do miss her, but it's her call, hopefully things get somewhat better before work in the fall because it will be awkward.

School was a relief when it ended, and although I want to go out and try to learn new things, enjoy my life, I do have that desire to date again, not sure who but it is something that I really love doing. It was also a relief when I became financially more stable because towards the end it was a real concern for me, which combined with everything else made me so weak and really depressed for a while. My recent bug besides dating is a weird desire to become proficient in spanish and tango, as well as guitar. Hopefully I will be successful this summer. It is looking to be a good summer anyway, but hopefully it gets to be memorable. I have new skills now and hopefully I will be able to use them, in addition to being more active and energetic

Well I know it was way long, but sometimes I like to clear my head and come back to calm and tranquility. Life is crazy, and now I'm able to go with the flow and see what the world has to offer. Maybe she might stumble across this I realize, but it isn't a bad thing for her to know indeed for anyone to know why I was depressed, why I looked like I was going crazy. I had a lot of people worried, but in times of high struggle and hardship, everyone only has a limited amount of flexibility

Peace and Love everyone
Jens Jensen

just relax

2008-06-16T21:12:00.000-07:00

It has come to my attention that some people don't believe that I can keep true to my current mandate. Rest assured, I have taken the necessary steps, namely blanking out my phone, and keeping my silence. Nothing will change on my end unless I get to have my say. I'm therefore going to say my mindset here, although I wish she could see it because it might be beneficial.

My overall opinion is that what was said and done was exactly what needed to be said. Cassie crossed a line, that I couldn't, but it was a line that was meant for the boyfriend/ " buddy". I had not the disposition to address the issue myself, but in the end it came out. I don't regret it because it brought to light something that I couldn't see. I have no problem helping people when they need it, regardless of what it may be, just ask and, provided that it is something that I can do, I will. Bringing to my attention certain other things though, is definitely crossing the line. Unless they are presented in a certain

context, in which case I don't mind. It isn't that I don't care or miss it, but as a general rule, everyone has a tolerance, and I have reached that point. As far as I am concerned the situation is closed and unless she changes it, it shall remain that way. It hurts a little that it had to end how it did, but I realize that change sometimes is brought about by hardships.

That being said, my phone and computer are clean, simply because my gift is listening to people and finding out what I chose to know. That and I'm really good at clean up as well as being there for people when they need me. This is relevant because I know that if my phone wasn't clean and my " energy" came back I could get back into the exact same place that I was before. Don't believe that I have that skill, just watch me in other situations. I'm only a half step down from my friend Ian when I set my mind to something, and he was the man who could meet someone and in the course of 2 hours be back in the bedroom, believe me, I've seen it done. It has to do with the ability to listen and remember all of the necessary things, and many of the not so important. That combined with good sense is a deadly combination. I am not quite as good, but I could definitely accomplish the same feat in slightly more time. He was a player in every sense, and I learned well from him. I however have restraint. But I know that if I had my phone set, I would end up in that situation when my energy spiked, so it's best that I don't.

Rest assured that provided that things are stagnant, I will stay god to my word, and she will hear my full honest opinion if she ever decides to come to me wanting to talk. I have my mind set on other things, so don't bring it up and neither will I, I promise.

Oh and on a side note, I am almost done with another writing piece, my papa is doing much better (I went to go see him today) , and I now plan to get really started on my learning spanish. No explanation why, just felt like it was something to take up and get good at.
Love ya always,
Jens

the story as well as I know it

2008-05-30T22:06:00.000-07:00

So then this is the basic story of how everything that has happened progressed from the whole previous year. We shall start with my appendicitis as it was the main start of everything to follow. Technically before this Cassie and I had been very close, doing many things together. We started dating shortly after I went in for my surgery. It was at this point that I realized that I needed to change some things that had been plaguing me from high school. I was striving to be more confident and socially adept, which I did after much work get to the point that I am at now. Now almost any situation is comfortable to me. I didn't date much in high school because I was quite shy and timid which didn't translate well into college.

Anyway that shit ended with the entry of Scott because apparently being respectful, combined with a little nervous, I was deemed unworthy. I also didn't want to rush things because being told stories of how the guy before moved too fast and hearing about the aftermath isn't really a green light to move forward, even to me who was completely blind to non-verbal language. Anyway shit ended for a time there, and I had a few bad nights, but I managed to brush it off and be numb to the whole situation, although a little depressed at times. School wasn't bad although not as good as I expected because being out for a week at mines isn't really the best of ideas.

In addition to that my car got hit and damn near totaled, and I should have gotten another one because it then decided to crap out parts systematically and it would have just been cheaper to get a new one. My computer suffered the same fate shortly after I decided to upgrade some components.

Christmas break was great fun for me, full of dancing and good fun. I learned a lot about being social and reading people from it, and there was the whole Maria incident. Then I went back to Golden for round two. Work was a little hard initially but we made it work out so that things were still close and friendly. Our conversations were good, though not always clean. Some of our drunk conversations, however were evidence to an underlying mutual feeling, a mutual caring that we both wanted. Indeed when I went over the night that she tried to get alcohol poisoning we were on the same page. From there things just got worse.

I did what I did because I care for her, and although we fight sometimes, I never meant to hurt her. From there we started to be there for each other when it was necessary, until her friend took control and changed everything. I started to slip because I did in fact become her emotional/mental support during the hard times. It took far too long for me to realize that I was basically being used as her "gay friend". I had essentially the role of a boyfriend in terms of being there for her when she needed my help ( save for anything fun or beneficial to me) and even got chewed out when I wasn't there for her, but I, like a dumbass put up with it. It started to be a problem when it strained my friends and family, which was about the time I started to get fed up with it. That was about two weeks ago. I got worn down to the point where I just couldn't do it anymore, especially when I start being told about things that are going well for her, and I'm in a bit of shock because I'm the one doing all of the work.

To be honest dating wouldn't have been bad again, and at the time I did consider it, but not like this it has to be a mutual thing where work is done by both parties. It isn't the caring that is the issue for me, but my friends didn't deserve what happened, my stress or my energy. I'm really surprised that people stuck by me through it all. And on Wednesday my really close friends took action on my behalf. I put myself into a haze and let it happen because it needed to be done and because I care I don't know that I would have ever been able to stand up. Now I can because I fully expect there to be a round 3 where I will not back down from what I need to say should this come back at my doorstep. Never again will I be the bitch used for someone else's personal gain. I don 't mind helping friends, but my true friends have never, indeed I don't think ever will use that to their advantage. It isn't something that anyone should have in their life.

I don't think that she is truly evil, or that that she fully knew what she put me through, but at least for now it's over and for the time being I'm really happy and way more energetic, in a good way. I still need to go out and meet people and be social, but I have a great staff to work with and time to do what I want to do. Mines is going fine for me, and now I can say that worrying about money is essentially over, or at least it will be soon. If the situation ever comes back to the forefront I will deal with it then and rest assured if talking is involved I will make damn sure that it is known that it will never be like it was before. I do have guardian angles in a way, and they pulled me from a self-destructive situation when it was most needed. Now I'm at peace and ready to take on the world if need be. I do still care for her and wish her the best, but shit the way it was is over and now things are changing for the better.

Peace and Love
Jens C. Jensen

Yes I know it was long but it was something that I felt compelled to write.

writing exercise

2008-01-29T13:48:00.000-07:00

After dinner had been prepared and the candles had been lit I sat down and admired my work. It was a normal night, but something in the air felt different. Maybe it was the warmth of the oven or the ambiance that the candles gave off. Whatever it was, the night was definitely special. It had been many years since I had seen her and my mind was racing with the questions of what to say and what to do. So much had changed, but the fire and passion for her still burned through every ounce of my body. Then the doorbell rang. I got up to answer the door and practically fell to my knees in her radiant beauty. She was wearing a low cut black dress that was slit on the side, nice black heels, and silky smooth pearl earings that went almost to her shoulders. What was most stunning was the diamond necklace that adorned her neck. It was the same necklace that I had given her so long ago. We sat down for dinner and talked about the past and what the future might have in store. I could tell when looked into each other's eyes that she was the girl for me. After dinner we decided to stay at home and watch a movie in my room. The atmosphere was electric as we laid down together to watch the movie. As we sat there talking and watching the movie we both knew what was right. As I looked into her soft blue eyes, I melted inside. I had tried to be the strong one for both of us, but she was the one who could get through my defenses without even trying. The only words that needed to be said were" mi amor." As we kissed I could feel the energy flowing through our bodies. As I began to caress her body I could feel her heart beat with mine. Her skin was smooth as silk. It all made sense as I began to massage her inner thighs, this was right. Her breast were so soft and tender to the touch. I could feel her body heat as I began kissing her breast. The past was behind us now, we had finally heard the call of destiny. When my lips met hers, the energy was so intense that the bed shook. The tounge apparently is a multipurpose organ. As two became one the energy surged to levels never before felt. In the end the bed broke and just as the energy and tension had began, they vanished as we collapsed into each other's arms. In her arms I was completely defenseless. Destiny has ways of showing you the truth if you only listen to your heart. Peace and Love Everyone
Jens

the true way to piss me off

2007-11-01T12:09:00.000-07:00

So sorry I haven't wrote but i have been busy collecting my mental stability. I can't believe that my roommates almost got me to snap and actually fight back. I don't really enjoy fighting because well I just don't see the point in it. Shit got bad on Sunday when I had problems working on cars, my parents knew I was under a lot of stress and that I was kinda depressed. However they decided that this was the perfect time to attack me on virtually everything that was stressful, including school, money, my broken car, my phone, my girlfriend ( although she came to my side later and allowed me to hold it together) I had to leave because although it was a dick move on their part I love my family just like I love my friends and roommates. It was a 7 minute drive to Golden where my roommates began to fuck with me and give me shit for not hugging my girlfriend over the weekend. They will never understand that it isn't that I didn't want to it is that I very seldom actually have feelings for someone and that I no longer trust my intuitions because the last girl I loved and thought that she felt the same way threw it in my face and it really hurt. As a result I just don't trust my intuitions about people or situations. Anyway they tried to piss me off and since i was already knocked off balance I almost broke and fought back. I am lucky that I have a massive tolerance for anger because for almost anyone else they would have cracked. Bottling up stress, depression and then adding anger on top is not good for the body. So the real key to piss me off is to know that I'm stressed, and depressed and then attack me directly for something that is already on my mind, not indirectly . And for my roommates(AJ) who will be reading this Sunday was a dick thing to do, but it only works if I'm stressed and depressed like Sunday, and you have to know what is bugging me and hit it directly. If I'm on center forget it because I have more tolerance for your shit than you will ever know.
Peace and Love
Jens

this one is for me

2007-10-02T13:04:00.000-07:00

So I recently took my roommates advice, or rather a challenge to change my current destructive path of behavior. I decided to change something that has been a plaque within me for many years. I will admit that without his push it might have never come about. I don't really know why I agreed to take his challenge, especially because well it was my primary means of relieving stress and making myself completely invincible to emotions. No it isn't alcohol. This spans many more years than I have been drinking. It was a call that I haven't tried for over 6 years. So far it hasn't been easy, and it has completely made me very scatterbrained. I haven't felt many emotions for so long. I have completely lost the ability to really be angry, which is good because well if I had a short temper it wouldn't necessarily be a good thing. I still am able to control my anger to a degree that I have yet to see from anyone. It is nice to have really strong feelings again, finally feeling human once more. I chose my behavior as a means to escape all of the pain of rejection. It is also really nice to have confidence come back to what it was before all of this. The healing will take time, but I can finally stand on my two feet, ready to take whatever life has to throw at me. My roommate saw a problem and addressed it and now I am doing it for me. I missed so much during this time and I am sorry to everyone for my actions. Hey on the bright side I am now almost able to look people in the eyes with confidence.
Peace and love
Jens

the week from hell

2007-09-27T15:40:00.002-07:00

I think it is official to say that karma is a bitch and she has finally came back to beat my ass into the pavement. It started on Monday when I woke up with a sore throat and clogged sinuses. In and of itself not bad drinking that night felt really really weird. I thought alcohol was supposed to kill germs right. So on Tuesday I get informed that I am required to be in Denver to celebrate my brothers birthday. As I was leaving the bank some elderly man turned left into me. I don't mean he turned left and cut me off I mean he went right into the side of my car. It was drivable ( his wasn't ) but my alignment feels off and I now have a large gap between my hood and the body. I think this is a good indication that it is totaled (cross my fingers that it can be repaired). I took my parents other car up to school and the school network was down so I couldn't do the HW until Wednesday which sucked up about 3 hours of my day. Last night I got a call from this girl I work with saying basically that she wanted me to stay the night. She was obviously drunk so I declined multiple times which pissed her off. I actually was responsible and apparently her and her friend made me out to be the bad guy. Lastly, the power went off at my house last night and as a result my alarm clock failed to go off. I woke up about 7AM and realized that I was supposed to be at work 45 minutes earlier. I went to work and thankfully my boss wasn't terribly pissed off, he just told me not to make a pattern of it. With my luck I can only assume that this evening will somehow turn into a disaster. Currently I am just really bored.
Peace and love
Jens

funny

2007-08-15T14:09:00.000-07:00

So I got off of work early today and found that I had some spare time today. At work something struck me as quite comical. Someone got laid last night and apparently it is a big deal that I didn't. I really don't understand why anyone would be shocked that someone more attractive and more vibrant got laid. I always thought that it was the way the world worked that the attractive people got laid and ugly people needed money or liquor. It isn't like I really had good odds to begin with. Lets see a 21 year old virgin who is incredibly shy and not really good looking. I guess smart is the whole of what I bring to the table and maybe a little vibrant. Hell it happens on dates for me anyway. It goes basically good night and that is it. If I ask what went wrong the response is usually nothing just don't ever date me again. I just tink it is funny that people can be surprised at the very obvious

I just dont get it

2007-06-25T20:00:00.001-07:00

I don't understand why I can't just have a normal relationship like everyone else. I have a girl that I am told really wants to date me and I just want to be friends, because there is no chemistry. She is nice to talk to, but there is a lack of real physical attraction and she is really too serious and uptight. I went to a couple of movies with her, and people think it's bad, but I like her as a friend. I just want to know why I can never find the girl that there is a mutual attraction to. The few dates I have went on with girls that I truly liked ended in the whole, "your a good friend, but not really date able" or" This is one date and one date doesn't make a relationship." I really just want a girl that I like to ask me out to dinner or hang out and actually start dating. Or at least the courage to ask out the girls that I really like. I hate being shy, and I just wish that one of the girls that I like would ask me out. I haven't seen many of the girls that I like for very long and I do miss those girls the most and one in particular, that I really just want to see and hang with.
Peace
Jens

women

2007-04-18T19:05:00.000-07:00

First off my condolences to Virginia Tech. It was really shitty and I am really sorry for the students that lost their lives in this mindless act of violence.
So, after today I can say that I might have really made a mistake. There is a girl I work with, very nice, great personality, but there is absolutely no spark of physical attraction at all. Now this would be harmless except for the fact that I guess I said I liked talking to her, and now everyone at work wants to hook us up. I don't really want to hook up but I'm sure that soon enough I will have to make a choice that I really don't want to make. I don't mean to be shallow but doesn't there need to be some actual physical attraction in a relationship. I mean there needs to be a balance between personality and attraction. I just don't know what to say when the time comes, especially when I have no excuse not to. I just feel that there are a few other girls out there that I am attracted to that I actually get the feeling of attraction. Hell one of these 4 girls ( I think they know) even goes to mines. The only reason I haven't pursued anything is because they are all friends and I don't really want to make my friendships awkward because I said something that wasn't taken very well. I tried it before and it ended in a great date, but it made everything awkward. I would ideally like to have a reason to say no to the girl at work just because while she is a great friend, there isn't a spark and that is kinda a little important.

On another note I was told that apparently I never try to go out on dates. I was talking with a roommate who said he had some spare time next semester and I told him that he should go and try to find a girlfriend. Now there is a girl that he is close friends with ( but not dating... yet) and I think she took offense to the comment because she told me that I need to go looking way before he does. I have been looking, but the problem is that I can't say anything because my track record in dating is shit. A few isolated dates that always end up in the rejection. I don't get why because I don't think that I have really done anything horrible. I really just need someone to explain to me what I did wrong that I can be dated but not really as a boyfriend. I didn't respond to her comment, but it isn't that I'm not trying, it is that I am shy, and when I do try to finally try dating I seem to always get shot down after 1 date. I guess it is just the unwritten law that I am not datable. I don't know but any suggestions are welcome?

Peace and Love
Jens

E-days

2007-04-01T20:46:00.000-07:00

So e-days is over and well it is definitely time to recover. It was a blast, but it definitely is nice to just sit back and let things return to normal. I will let everyone know when the fireworks are rescheduled ( they got canceled due to snow and they will hopefully have them later.) Flogging Molly was a great concert and the comedians were good. I was really impressed with everything. The barbecue was really fun, although I don't remember all of it ( guess why). I will say that for part of the barbecue everything was really funny (I won't say why but let's just say walking was incredibly difficult and yes I was more or less sober for the comedian.) Never again though will I be so gone. No one I invited showed up to the barbecue though which kinda sucked ( yes I know some people had other obligations and that's fine) It is never a good thing to eat chips all night and then still wake up hungry though I have decided. I went to a car show today that was great ( with my parents) and we took the light rail. Let me just say that I was very impressed with the light rail and the auto convention. It is nice to be able to play around in all of the cars that you always wanted to without the hassle of a dealer standing over your shoulder. I also realized this weekend that I really suck at telling women how I really feel. If you have ever had the feeling that you wanted to just blurt out something like say "you're attractive and I really like you" but you can't because it just feels inappropriate. All of my roommates know that I like a few girls and they know I just want to say something. They also give me shit for losing my confidence ( and my balls) when it comes to the wire. I don't know why it happens, but I always end up becoming a friend and then I can never say anything. I can tell you that it has happened more than once. and I have actually made shit awkward when I tried to say something and found out that shit wasn't there and then my friend got her. Anyway peace and love
Jens

I hate being sick

2007-03-04T21:03:00.000-07:00

So after two weeks of sickness I am really quite tired of it. I am done with feeling like shit. I even went to the doctor last week because I couldn't get my temperature lower that 100 unless I had 3 Motrin and amoxicillin. And they couldn't figure it out. no strep no flu, so they just told me it was probably mono and told me they couldn't do anything. I don't understand that conclusion because I have never been kissed ever, and no one else has it. It still hasn't gone away which really sucks. and this weekend I am still pushing 100. I would like to get sleep but I am doing well and I don't much feel like missing work and school. Hell if the doctor can't place it, I must not be sick right. Anyway I have gotten better at snowboarding, because about 3 weeks ago we went up and I can finally do blacks. Not all that well, but I will go back up when I finally get better. I also got a guitar so now I can actually practice more. I am still looking for dancing lessons. On another note e-days is coming up so if you want to come let me know. The only holiday I know that is dedicated to drinking and blowing shit up. Good times.
Peace and Love
Jens Jensen

I wish I were in Mexico

2007-01-24T16:57:00.000-07:00

I have decided that I should be in Mexico because I am very tired of snow. Not snowboarding, mind you but just the snow in general. I am also tired of being the responsible one all the time. It is nice to have almost everything working for me now, but sometimes people need a break. I just want to get away, go out to the clubs drink and meet women. My roommates say I need to get laid, and I can only agree. The only things that I have really done is start playing the guitar, snowboarding, going to dinners, and going to the sex shop ( yes it sucks being bored). It is really a new feeling of restlessness. Everything is working, but so far it all is so little that I can only crave something really intense. Imagine for a minute that you have 20 some odd objective in the workings, but nothing has really happened with anything. Don't get me wrong, it is fun, but just a little dull when everything starts, but nothing really progresses that fast. Right now I'll just try to keep myself from being bored, any suggestions on things to do or try I'm all ears?
Love always
Jens

lovely isolation

2007-01-14T23:55:00.000-07:00

you ever have that feeling of being all alone. I have decided that it kinda sucks, being the oddball out . It is fun for a while until no one seems to get you. no one understands why I have a lot of respect for women. No one seems to understands when I tell them that there is a difference between sex and love. Most people now want to see me get laid, because well they think I need it. I can understand the point, but unfortunately there is something that I was told way back by a friend who had more women than I care to count. Of them all he says that it is by far the best thing to have the first person be the one that means something to you. Then i didn't really understand, but well it makes a lot of sense. There is a definite line between sex and love. Love is something that can't be bought. Love means more than anything else. In addition people think I should start getting numbers. It has never been my thing, especially because well being shy and it just feels wrong to ask out of the blue. Definitely not something I got from my mom. It just leaves my torn because I understand what my friends want to do, and I think they might be right, but I just cant reconcile these two opposing views in my mind. it really sucks to be indecisive but feel that a decision must be made. Being alone kinda sucks, but I just can't bring myself to cross the threshold. What is certain now is that I have work in the morning and staying up isn't going to help me all that much. How do you tell someone from the shadows that you love them. Showing no emotion has its benefits, but after awhile they build up. I really wish that people would just tell you how they feel so that even if they were pissed, you wouldn't have to bite your damn tongue and hide how you really feel.

I know that made no sense, but it will only mean something to a few people so have fun. Cryptic, it's how I roll, but I was serious if you know what I mean. oh and I am probably starting tango lessons soon, a little longer for guitar.

Baby, you may hate me, but know that I am always here for you and I always will be. God I hate being shy
Love always
Your Jensipoo

good fun

2007-01-11T23:48:00.000-07:00

So I'm finally back to Golden and so far I think my classes are going to be fun. A little work, but that goes with engineering. Things are finally changing though, and I for one couldn't be happier. Work is getting easier to get up for, and for some reason I seem to have so much more enthusiasm and energy. I also decided that I have four major goals for the year. The first is to take up tango and salsa and tango ( the dances i like because they actually have a lot of movement and vibe to them) I probably will go by myself, unless I can find someone to go with. It is just something that I always wanted to try. Second, I want to take up guitar. It is really fun, and between learning a little at work and experimenting on my mom's poorly tuned guitar, I think it is an instrument that I can actually learn to play . It also helps that I really enjoy it. At my house the best I can get right now is guitar hero II which helps in the speed aspect of fingering, but it doesn't help accuracy much. It is really addictive though. Third, I want to finally get up to the mountains and get back to my boarding. I would have went over break, but I couldn't actually leave my house thanks to the FINE job that Denver does plowing. Seriously I want that job, sit on my ass get paid to say I plowed the streets and in the end I get rewarded with a party for my shitty job. Sign me up! I am very sick of snow if you couldn't tell. I will go snowboarding on Saturday provided I can get up there. If you want to come, call me up and let me know. My final goal is to finally get laid. Not the best goal, and probably the one that I won't fulfill, but it is sad when everyone but me and one other person have someone. I am finally getting better at taking to women ( only 20 years to learn). It is hard to do anything at mines because, well come up here and find out for yourself. I guess I should explain that when I say get laid, I don't mean exactly that, but rather that I really need someone to just chill with and have fun. Roommates and friends are fine for the most part, but sometimes there is definitely something that is left to be desired. Well so much for my antics I'll talk to everyone later for now I'm going to look up close dance lessons
Peace and Love always
Jens
P. S. Why dose no one seem to write anymore?

bored

2006-12-14T16:46:00.000-07:00

So now that finals are finally over, I can't help but wonder what exactly there is to do. Tonight I get to be up here, probably by myself because I have work in the morning and I am being driver for a friend tomorrow night. I already thought Golden was boring, but damn, try entertaining yourself for about two days before you see anyone. They say that the worst punishment in prison is isolation, and I can only agree. Now I guess I'll just try to keep my self sane knowing that finals are over. Anyway, from the bored man
Peace and Love
Jens

lovely

2006-12-08T00:04:00.000-07:00

The end is finally in sight, and I couldn't be happier. I actually feel really good about everything, aside from my minor cold. I still feel like something is missing in my life, but it the feeling isn't overbearing. On the plus side sex is wonderful. I learned that there is a point where you can actually take in more caffeine than your body can handle. When you cough up black crap and your whole body feels drained, you've had enough. I am going to try hookah tomorrow, so hopefully it goes well. I wonder why people so often hold on to what they can never obtain. It has happened to me, but letting go is just about the hardest thing. Anyway I am probably off the wall right now so I'll write later when I have some more insightful thoughts.
Peace and Love
Jens
P.S. Two quick things, first I plan to go boarding on the 16th as of right now ( I still haven't had the opportunity to go up yet). Also if nobody has anything planned we might do new years up here.

once again

2006-11-07T10:59:00.000-07:00

So I have learned that I tend to write more when I can't seem to stop the madness. As of now I find it a little disconcerting that I can't seem to get my bearings back. Usually when shit hits the fans, I have the uncanny ability to get back on my feet and hit the ground running. Maybe I finally hit the limit on what I can do in regards to damage control. I can't say that I didn't like anything that happened, but sometimes there is a limit. I just don't know whether or not it is better to just go full speed ahead and just see how crazy things get, or put all of my efforts to try to get my bearings back. I usually know what to do, but I must admit that I'm at a loss as what to do.

In the end I will always be there, just when you need me. Always by your side, forever in your heart. The one you run to for help and comforting. I have failed but once and never again. When you need me, wherever you need me, know that I will be there. Through the smoke and the chaos know that I will always stand by you

Love always
Jens

Finally back to normal??

2006-11-06T12:27:00.000-07:00

So my life is finally spinning once again after a bad week. It was very interesting, but eventually everything will be boring once again. After halloween night and the weekend I don't know if things will ever be quiet again. For those of you who don't know I will begin to explain. On halloween I had to drive to Aurora to help a friend out of a bad situation. I can't really explain, but lets just say that she got in over her head without thinking. It is a long drive from Golden as it turns out. Anyway I then screwed up on Friday which no longer exist. Lets just say that I can no longer leave my phone out in the open and hope that drunk people will not use it. It isn't much fun trying to talk to someone randomly after about six or seven shots. I am told it was a fun night, but I still think that my track record is well known now, after 14 shots. Went to Denver on Saturday and went to some friends houses. It was nice to see old friends and nice to get a little normal. I got all of my snowboard equipment together for next weekend or some time in the future. Today was nice because although I had jury duty, I had the rest of the day off. Things are not really back to normal. Some things have happened that only time will tell whether or not they were good or bad for me. I guess I can just wait now and hope that I didn't make any horrible choices. For now I just think I'll relax and take it easy until woody's tonight top regain my composure.
Peace and Love
Jens

I hate getting sick

2006-10-17T20:01:00.000-07:00

I am officially sick yet again. I can't wait until tomorrow to see how bad it actually gets. I drank a little on Monday night, and woke up feeling fabulous. It was suprising because I didn't get much sleep and I usually feel crappy if I don't get about four hours of sleep. I went to my only class at 8 and went to Chipotle. After that I crashed for about three hours on my bed. I mean I literally passed out. It was the kind of sleep where you hit the pillow and you are gone. I woke up and I couldn't shake cold chills until just about an half of an hour ago. I hope that it doesn't last very long. Given the time to think today I tried to clear my mind and figure out where to go in my life from here. I like how everything is moving now and it feels like I have control, but there is defiantly something missing. I hate being confident and in control of some parts of my life, and still feel like something is gone. I would like to be completely definite, with a set path and be completely locked in. I blame myself for it namely because at mines I have definitely unbalanced my life. I just let some things go in order to do better in certain things, and while success came finally it was a kind of shallow victory . I let some very important things go that should have really had priority. Anyway I should probably get sleep and try to feel better tomorrow .
Love always
Jens

Love is a lie

2006-10-10T21:47:00.000-07:00

I finally have the energy to write, and I will before I don't feel like it anymore. It isn't that I haven't had anything to say, just no motivation to do so. To start off I will say that this post has about three parts.
First, on Saturday I heard the most thought provoking arguement in a long time. It came from my priest and I was shocked. He was talking about abortion in his homily and he came to the point that we shouldn't care so much about laws for or against abortion. What we should be more concerned about is the reasons that people have abortions in the first place. Whether or not it's legal doesn't matter unless you chose to adress the problem. The main reason that people have abortions is that America has made sex into something that is dirty, it has become something that is confined soley to the bedroom and it is something that is shameful and disgraceful. It's sad if you really tyhink about it, we would rather allow excessive violence rather than beautiful sex. Look in the media and you'll see what I mean. Namely Hillary Clinton and the San Andreas incident. We would rather hide and eliminate sex from anything. Never mind that the game is based in the idea that you can go on an all out massacre and be fine, but having sex in the game, that was "over the line". I don't know about you, but I would rather my children be exposed to sex in context and the beauty of the human body long before violence. I don't know when sex became taboo, but it absolutly shouldn't be. Anyway back to abortion, The main reason that people have abortions is because of the shame that so many families put on sex. Girls can't just face their parents and admit that they had sex. It is a sad day when abortion is chosen because we make the alternative so much worse. Sadly enough this happens more in families that the parents are more religious. I'm not saying that premarital sex is good, but if it becomes something far worse than an abortion, then we have failed.

Now for the second part. I have ultimatly decided that love causes nothing but pain. I am sure that everyone who reads this has heard the saying, that if you love something, let it go, if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't it never was. I used to buy into that, but I have finally given up on emotions and feelings. I realize that true love is the unconditional support and backing of someone regardless of choices made. True love means letting someone makes their own choices and being there for support if they need you. However when I let go of love, I have never gotten anything other than dissapointment. Hell I've gotten love back except from family. It makes me wonder if I was wrong on all counts. Once I was too inexperienced, once I was too far on the outside, and once I was just not visable. I always get shit from people when I say I have never been kissed. Therefore I have decidedly given up on all emotions and feelings. Maybe reason will serve me better.

Last, is merely an update, classes are fine, I now have a job interview, and I have successfully created two liters of absinthe. Friday i will try it and try to write. Now I have a physics test calling. I am also awaiting fall break on Monday and snow for snowboarding. If I am needed call me, I will be here always.

Love
Jens

sorry, is that bullshit I hear?

2006-08-28T21:34:00.000-07:00

So I have to call out some bitches today because they really pissed me off. They would be the athletics staff at mines. So here is the story, I applied to continue lifeguarding at the pool early last week. It is basically something that I do every year. Basically I have to pick hours and show that I am qualified. I thought it would be simple enough, even though the aquatics boss wasn't there, I filled out everything and got approved from the head of athletics. I even sent several e-mails to my boss asking to give me the go ahead and tell me my hours. No word, but everyone else seemed to know. So after four e-mails and running everywhere to get paperwork filed and approved I finally get an email response today. My boss says basically that he never got anything and that he already made a schedule and that I would be unable to work. Wait, I think I smell a big pile of bullshit. I don't see how he could miss the papers sitting in his mailbox for an entire week. Or the emails that were maked as important. I guess I just don't understand, I never understood the point of lying. I mean if you have something to tell me that you know is going to inconvience just tell me just let me know. I mean wether you love me or hate me just be direct. I won't get angry either way, but I will if you can't grow a pair and just give me a heads up. Matters of the heart are different, and sometime they remain silent, but business for christ sake. I can understand not telling someone you love them because of the fear that you might not be met halfway, but to lie about missing paperwork that is complete and total bullshit.
Sorry for the rant, I'm just a little frustrated with everything that seems to be happening all of the sudden. hopefully this is not an indicator of things to come. I had good hopes for the year, but like the summer I seem to be screwed at every turn so far.
Anyway
Peace and Love,
Jens

Welcome back to hell

2006-08-23T20:44:00.000-07:00

Well now I can't really say anything after all I did drive the damn bus. I have finally come to the conclusion that I really need to find more productive things to do with my time. I can't even believe that I am saying it, but classes might actually be easy. I will probably regret those words, but for now that is how I feel. It seems that I have far too much time on my hands. It shouldn't be a good thing to sleep in and still have time in the morning to kick back and relax. It feels like I actually have time to enjoy life, but I have obviously been in Golden too long and have come to realize that well there isn't much to do with free time. It sucks because I don't much like to sit idle and do nothing. I like to have shit going on. You know sit and talk to people, go out and do just about anything, Hell I was the one driving as fast as I could around downtown just because I needed something to do. I don't know if it's just me, but sitting and watching tv for any length of time makes me feel lazy. I thought that mines would be nice when I went because it was small, but the longer I stay, the more I want the ability to go and meet people, to have fun, to have something to do besides video games and the occasional drinking party. I just hate the feeling of restlessness more than anything else. The constant waiting for something that I know in the back of my head will never come. I found that a stagnate place isn't really enjoyable. I like for everything to change, even if it is a stressful environment. Anyway enough ranting for now. I am bored.
Peace and love,
Jens

One long ass summer

2006-07-21T19:28:00.000-07:00

When I was young I always was discouraged when summer came to a close because it never felt long enough. Now I just can't wait for the summer to come to a close. The summer seems to have become more of a routine than anything else. I haven't really done anything to exciting. To make it worse I have failed at any attempts I have made to try to meet people. It seems that I always seem to hit the same end and end up being that really close friend that is always there, but always takes a backseat. I just don't know how to get past the flirting and mindgames. I don't mean to say that being the friend is bad, I really enjoy it, but sometimes I just get bored of the same monotonous routine. Tomorrow hopes to be better as I plan to go golfing for my birthday ( for the first time). My goal is just not to completely suck. I also plan to finally try a hookah on Sunday. I also want to try to have a party at some point before the summer is up, but I havent set anything in stone yet. Well that's all for the time being
Peace and love to all of those who still have love for me
Jens

Close call

2006-06-20T18:43:00.000-07:00

Yes there is a lot in my head to write about (for once) but I chose to write about the happenings of the day because it pissed me off. My parents before have never had the desire to check my room before ever. It was a kind of unspoken rule that my shit is my shit and you don't have the right to go looking through it. Well today my mom suddenly decides that all of my private paperwork is fair game. I don't know why it suddenly became ok but it did. So before I left for work I had to meticuously clear out my room of everything that I didn't want to be seen. It wasn't that bad, but I did have to waste some money. I had to get rid of a box of condoms, and they don't come cheap. I guess that it is better than being found and having to answer a bunch of bullshit questions. See I am a virgin, which is fine, but the condom box wasn't full. I bought it during e-days when I trusted my feelings and was misled once again. My friends however needed a few for the weekend and I let them take them because well I had no use. Instead of leaving them at college however, I took them home and forgot about them. It is a good thing that I got rid of them because, well it would have been worse to try to explain to my parents why I had a not quite full box. I don't know but it probably wouldn't be the best conversation. Hell if I get accused of something I want to make damn sure that I did it. Anyway just a kind of random ass rant but its something. My binder on the other hand was left, but never searched because I placed it with some school papers.

Peace and Love
Jens

Learning

2006-06-17T19:13:00.000-07:00

I have been back in Denver for about a month and a half now and well the summer that I had great expectations for is somehow molding itself into my own little hell. I wanted to talk to people and just kinda get to chill a little. Now it seems that I just plan on being bored. Between work and washing cars, I don't get much time to breathe. The time I do get I waste by driving around or tv. It didn't used to get to me, but I think I got ADD from college. I always have to be doing something or talking to someone. Thank God a girl that I work with seems to have the same problem or work would be really boring. Oh and I laugh at everyone using cars now. It is so damn expensive which makes it nice to have a $5 a week alternative. Plus I can go faster on my motorcycle ( safely). However cars are funnier to race, which I confirmed tonight. It is fun to floor it on hampden. Got to a buck 10 when I realized that I don't need to lose my license. Anyway I learned something today. I learned that when playing games it is easier to say that you are a virgin by choice rather than by circumstance. Circumstance leads to many uncomfortable questions. I won't go into it here but lets just say I won't make that mistake again. If you really care to know, hit me back but I don't have to explain it to the public.
Peace and Love
Jens

I'm doomed

2006-06-04T19:24:00.002-07:00

So I began work this week and it has been very fun. It seems that we have a very good staff and Ihave good hopes that this summer will be significantly better than last. I am doing well so far in just about everything. I got of mines with only minor wounds and I now qualify as a junior. The money is finally finding its way back into my wallet, and my mind is relatively calm and relaxed. This should all be good news, however the victories that I have been having are hollow for the most part as they have opened me up to an issue that I have been avoiding for some time. After getting away from mines and its horrid ratio, I had planned to devote some of my time to meeting people and taking care of a part of my life that I had neglected for nineteen years. I was confidant that the summer would be good to me. Unfortunantly this is not the case. I suddenly have the fear of being the kid that gets trapped in the candy store! Let me begin by saying that there are several very cool ladies that are on our staff this year. The only reason that I bring this up is that I was dissapointed to learn that a girl that I met last year had not come with me. It would have been so much fun considering that we clicked so well and we almost hit it off last year. I am afraid that has ended. This year I have met several ladies ( by my standards anyway). However they are all already taken, or they seem very distant. This has usually been the case. For those who don't know, I am not exactly well versed in these matters. This got me thinking of why this is. Although I don't obviously have the answer, I see two glaring problems. One is that I have completely given up on my gut feelings. They have led me astray many times before. I have made mistakes because of my missinterpretation of the situation. I have also in these instances forgoten to heed useful advice. Like my parents telling me that I went too far for some first dates, but I chose not to listen because of my solid grasp on the situation. I don't mean to say that I regret anything that I have done, but to say that I have learned from my mistakes, usually int the not so nice, brutal manner. This is why this summer, I am ignoring my feeling that I have about one of the fine ladies that I met. Mostly to spare the me looking like a dumbass and losing dignity consequence. I know that this is different from most men because I have decided to step down and let her make the first move. I know this has never worked, but I have great respect for women, and I don't want to try to force something that isn't going to happen. I also don't want the pity because it proves nothing. For once I want someone to come up and give a straight answer. Probabbly far fetched, but a man can wish. My other problem is that I believe the saying that goes something like if you love something let it go and if it comes back it is yours. But anyway I am afraid I must go now. I will write more I promise

The hopeless romantic
JJ

Weird

2006-04-19T21:32:00.000-07:00

So I'm going to make this brief. Today I was sitting in class and I got the distinct impression that someone I know was standing behind me. I don't know if this happens to other people, but it was weird because it was as though I was talking to her in my mind. I knew where I was but the feeling was so strong that I wasn't much involved in the lecture. I had the urge to call her and talk, but, when I got back to normal I realized how bad of a conversation it would be and how crazy I would appear. So if anyone was talking to me today, please let me know so I'll feel less crazy. I've heard of similar types of abilities before, but anyway I'm not sure.
Peace and Love
Jens

What women want

2006-04-17T21:51:00.000-07:00

Yes, I have returned once again. first things first. Things are finally settling down, my mind is back to the same old trainwreck as usual, but that's a good thing right. I finally got back to doing my rounds of talking to people. Soon I will return to silence (j/k). I have decided that silence while in small doses is good, is overall very bad. So I find myself back in the ring. I finally got back to tennis which is helping me find balance. I hope to go back to swimming soon, if I can find time. So now I pose two questionsthat I don't understand. Thank God they don't have to do with engineering. First, is it bad for a white guy to wear a du rag. Yeah, it sounds odd, but let me explain. Until I can actually get to get a shave, I found that this works best. needless to say my roomates find it odd. I used to have one before, and I don't wear it regularly, but it is really comfortable when my hair gets really long.

Second question : I was relaxing in the hammock once again and I realized that I really don't know what women look for in a man. This isn't to say that I don't know anything, but I am trying to get back into the field, and it just dawned on me that I don't know much. If I know one thing, however, it is that women don't much enjoy street racing. Anyway any ideas on where to go. The damn hammock is actually helping merelax and think clearly which is something that isn't really something that I had time for before.

As always
Peace and Love
Jens

question

2006-04-11T20:08:00.001-07:00

So e-days was fun, blew shit up, drank , you know all the fun things in life. I actually got drunk for my first time ( not much of an accomplishment, but now I know my limit.) Anyway that's not important. My question is in regards to some events that happened. I already made my decision, but my parents told me otherwise and I can definitly see both sides of the issue. It all started on Saturday when we held a BBQ at the house. I had a drink called "jungle juice"(very strong) and some Bailey's. We then went to a comedian that the school was hosting. There I ran into a friend from DU. She was drunk and I was tipsy and we talked about what was new. She proceeded to tell me how she hates her boyfriend and how she plans on breaking up. She then gave my her number and told me to call her after the comedian so that she could come over. I didn't call her because I reasoned that she was drunk, and if she came over it probably would have screwed up a lot of shit for both of us. I did call her to apologize and to make sure she was alright on Sunday. I think that was the right decision. My parents however felt differently. I know that I am not real assertive or preceptive when it comes to women. I precieved it as her blowing off steam and just casual chat. I also don't like to do anything that might hurt people. I have not generally been known to voice my opinions in situations such as this because I don't want to be the dumbass who thought that there was something there that wasn't. Any thoughts on what I should have done, or on how to be better at letting people know where I stand rather than giving the wrong impression. I know this sounds weak, but I don't know what I should have done.

Peace and Love
Jens
other thoughts: Baileys, kalua, icecream, and milk in a blender is really good

question

2006-04-11T20:08:00.000-07:00

Bush and Hitler

2006-04-05T20:16:00.000-07:00

So then as the title explains this is a blog about the similarities between Bush and Hitler. Basically as I was sitting here I realized that there are striking similarities between the two in their policies. Can anyone say Patriot act. Yeah, so I finally decided to listen to politics for a little and then it dawned on me, isn't the patriot act basically a way to monitor whoever you damn well please on the basis that they could be a possible terrorist. Honestly if you use that definition, anyone is fair game. I could even be a future terrorist because I could conceivably at some point in the future bomb something. Honestly Bush's whole agenda rest on 9/11 and the fear that it instilled in people. The whole claim that Bush is trying to protect freedom is bullshit. Anyone who really believes this, well I just have to say I'm sorry for you. Bush's goal is to keep a leash on people to give them a sense of safety. Ultimately I don't buy it. It is basically the systematic destruction of the constitution. Oh and the Department Of Homeland Security, yeah Hitler had on of those called the Gestapo. I just don't think that everything I do needs to be monitored. I mean how is my watching porn going to help the government protect people. On that note I do applaud the teacher who brought this idea to the classroom. Someone has to say it, and I fully think he has every right to present the argument as well as the opposing because what is the purpose of school if it doesn't teach people to think for themselves. I also admire google for telling the government to basically fuck off when they tried to subpoena records for everyone. Honestly if they wanted records why not at least collect searches for things like " How to join al-Qaeda" Makes more sense huh. I rest my case. Well this should teach America not to elect a stupid redneck. As the saying goes, a village in Texas is missing an idiot. My solution, vote for Oprha '08.
Peace and love
Jens

Blow the f*cker up!!

2006-04-05T19:45:00.000-07:00

This is the phrase that will be heard around campus starting tomorrow with the e-days fireworks display. As I sit here my goal for e-days is to remember little if any of the events. While fun is certainly one of the prime objectives, I will be more satisfied to sit and relax, perhaps read a book. The truth of the matter is that I have been working my ass off for what seems like a majority of a semester. Keeping ahead takes a lot of work, but in the end when time slows down the relief is certainty much better. For example today I watched Mind of Mencia for several hours. You might think that I wasted my time, but I've gotten to the point where there isn't really anything more to do. I could be doing work, but I'm sick of classes, I could go and meet people, but quite frankly I have put that on the backburner so long that I really don't know if I could do anything worthwhile. On that note I will say that my housemate impressed me quite a bit during our Monday dinner when he got the waitress to be really comfortable with him, and got our group of 11 people dinner for very little. It doesn't mean much to anyone else unless you knew that he was kinda shy around women and soft spoken. For her action she got a good tip, as everyone paid regular anyway.

Spring break was fun, altogether I spent most of it working or stuck in South Dakota. When I mean stuck I mean that they closed the city within two hours of our arrival. Also, when it snows, bears and reptiles aren't open, and even Rushmore was closed. My only question is how in the hell do you decide to close a mountain? I think next year I'll try for cabo or someplace warm.

As for now I think I'll just sit back with my friend Jose and follow in the mines tradition and chant, " Blow the F*ucker up."
As always Peace and Love

Jens

oh and P.S. anyone interested fireworks are at 9:00 tomorrow. That actually means 8:30 to get in the stadium.

Open disclosure

2006-02-08T15:25:00.000-07:00

Well, This topic has been on my mind for a while and recent events have made me think enough to finally post on the issue. First the background; On Monday I went online like usual, only to find something that caught me off guard. An old girlfriend ( I use this term for lack of better term but basically a close friend who thought as me more as a plaything than anything else, which is generally how it goes but I digress) had apparently found me on facebook. I don't know how or why considering that we have not spoken at all in at least six years. The reason this brought up thoughts about disclosure is that we were great friends up until one day when we just stopped talking. And it dawned on me, for six years we hadn't spoken a word, and I to this day don't know what caused us to stop talking. And so I have decided that why can things like this happen. Why can't people just let people know that their pissed or that they're in love or anything. I am not saying that I am perfect in letting people know things. But I think it should get better. I guess I don't understand how it happens between friends who are really close, but that one thought can never be voiced. I think that people should be less judgmental and more open with each other. I know that I'm trying and getting better. Oh and Miss , If you are reading love you always.
As always peace and Love
Mr. Jensen

hell's yeah

2006-02-02T17:18:00.000-07:00

Great day and much love to everyone. All I have to say is wow. Never has there been a time as happy as this. I have been sick for the past few days, but overall I feel great. It is the nicest feeling when everything just works like clockwork. I've been on top of all of my studies because after last semester, I thought that I really need to get organized. Needless to say it worked and it feels like I have a ton of time ( not that anyone else would notice since I haven't been writing much lately.) I have decided to take up cooking. I'm not really bad, but I did cook a pizza on the cardboard plate once. I got a lot of shit for it, but it's all good. The only bad thing now is that money is tight and I have to wait to get about $500 windfall for about a week. Oh and my roomates think I am a member of the bloods now. What, because I wore all red and carried my knife with me today? Apparantly they don't know me well enough to realize that just because I chill with a lot of people from the ghetto I must be dangerous. In a car maybe ( j/k) but not generally. I still think I should take them to either montbello or five points and show them. Now it's time to eat, but I shall post again.

love always,
your one and only

The quiet calm days

2006-01-13T10:51:00.000-07:00

Well, now I am back at school and suprisingly I have not really been stressed at all. It is a weird feeling to get up and go about your day in relative relaxation. It might be in part due to the fact that I feel really good about my classes so far. 18 hours, but overall I do have a lot of time to get my work done. Not like last semester. Enough about school though, there is more to talk about.

So over my break after the party I got to have some fun. No I DIDN'T go up to go boarding, but I got to spend my week in five points. More specifically Glenarm recreation center and the surrounding area. During this time I realized that most people, my friends included, in five points have a really lax attitude. It is a place where I can feel at home. Much better than cherry creek and the majority of stuck up people. Kinda makes me wonder how I was able to work there in high school. Anyway five points was very relaxing and the people there have a place in my heart. I also got my computer finished and I must say that I am very pleased. I have no money now, but at least my computer is fast, and my parents will finally be able to get a decent computer. I also learned why I hated dell so much. I hated them because they put so much crap on the computer that bogs it down tremendously. I also got a bootleg version of office. I think that it is only fair because bill already has billions, he won't miss an extra $200. This is why college is great, you can find free software almost anywhere.

In other news I realized that I am changing because of a comment a roommate made. Mike:" Hey you're actually driving slow and safely." I don't think that I have ever heard that before from anyone. I don't know why it happened but I was suprised. anyway
Love always
Jens

The time to strike is now ... and I am completely unprepared

2005-12-01T14:23:00.000-07:00

So it appears that I can actually salvage some of the pieces of my life and my academics. Physics will be fine provided that I do quite well on the final, but that requires studying which I haven't quite mastered. I think it's fucked that life always seems to throw you a curve when you have already decided to follow a set path. Now I have to buckle under are get my shit done opps I should have stayed on top until the end. I think that this semester has been really hard on everyone. I read about Raven's situation and all I have to say is that it sucks and I do know that she will get through it alright. I also think that it is sad about the girl in aurora. What's worse is that the dad who killed his daughter now wants to sue the police. It is kinda sick that you kill someone and then act like you deserve something. I also feel sad for Ms. Ferguson. I didn't know her as well as a lot of people, when people get cancer it kinda sucks. The same thing happened to both of my grandma's and burying someone who is special to you is never fun. I can't wait for break, because it means finally being able to breath. Now however, I should study for my calculus test.

From the day I saw you I knew you were the one. The one who would change my world forever. Though everyday when I am away from you feels like eternity, one day I will once again be by your side. Some say that love at first sight isn't real, and I agree, but true love last for eternity. I left your side because I knew that real love comes back. There is always the one who you would give anything for, but what is there to do when you have nothing to offer. That is the question that can't be answered because love and counsel are boundless gifts that neither perish or weather with time. I love because I am given that ability. Until next time
Peace and love always

Capa is going to kick my ass

2005-11-17T21:35:00.000-07:00

Yes that is right, I am just about fed up with all of my dam capa homework. Especially when the system goes down and They make you redo your homework that you had done. On the plus side, capa f-up during the test that I forgot my calculator for, so I get to retake it. As far as I can tell capa is good only for torturing students and allowing the professor to sit on his ass and do nothing. In other news, I have found the best margarita mix. It consist of lemonade, limeade, tequilla, ice, and grand marnier ( although on a college budget the later can be quiet hard to obtain). I also learned that drinking and poker= lost money. Fun times, and no hangover so I was happy. (I didn't drink much). Times are quite tough, but soon enough I will get to kick back and relax. Until then, my studies seem to be taking their toll. This weekend I will try to remember to buy a calculator for my retake. Anyway I hope that everyone is doing well, and I'll get ateveryone later.
Peace and love

wow

2005-10-19T22:19:00.000-07:00

Well I don't know where to start now that so much has happened. Basically I haven't had the motivation to write because of all of the damn work. I can say that now I know what it feels like to go to mines. There isn't a day that I have to just relax. Mostly it's physics, but not always. This year I am learning the importance of "el confidante". What I mean to say by that is that I am realizing now that it is important to have one person that you can tell anything. You know, the one person that you can talk to and never worry about what you confess. I have only had these conversations three times in my life, and now it sucks when I need to just relax and talk with someone, but everyone I talk to I feel like I have to put up a guard to hide that I am crumbling inside. I never thought I would begin to lose my confidante after the last time, but with no one to really understand that I feel weaker than ever, I try to hold my composure, for as long as I can. My good friend will probably go to jail in a month which sucks, and I hate the fact that I can't stop it. I also cant help but think that physics might be a retake for me. In news I have started to build a custom computer because I am fed up with my dell. Also Debiase pleaded guilty to several counts of sexual assault by a person in a position of trust. He will get sentenced sometime in December, poor guy. Anyway peace
Jens

ps. does anyone want to get the crew together to go to haunted houses sometime? just a suggestion

No harm, no foul...Oops

2005-09-14T19:13:00.000-07:00

Well now I finally have time to write which seems to have been a luxury this year. Between work, cappa and programming there isn't much else to do. On the plus side, the work does keep me occupied and away from my car and racing ( so does the new hike in gas prices). However, with the spare time that I do have there isn't much else to do. I think I see why mines sucks. Anyway the weather isn't much good anyway, cold and rainy and when I have to swim almost every day between classes it gets hard to dry off. It also ruined my car that I cleaned this weekend. I know that it sounds depressing, but I don't know what else to write about. Well bye for now... I'm sorry
I intend to write when I go to Denver this weekend. Hopefully I won't be as sad then
Peace and love

Sometimes it's bad to be alone.

2005-08-31T15:51:00.000-07:00

So, I have never been the one to seek out company because as everyone knows that it's best to be in control of your shit by yourself. However, complete isolation can't be good either. This year turned out to be much different from last. Last year I had the people I knew. I also had the girls which is always fun. Now I find myself sitting in what might as well be an empty house. The conversations that I have are with my housemates during video games. It just kinda sucks the fun out of classes when there is no one to talk with or clarify an answer. Overall it is like classes and games are my day. I really need to find something to do or someone to talk to because being in silence gets to you after a while. It's worse when your damn plumbing goes out because then there is nothing to do and the house isn't the place to be so... Anyway I guess that I will start the damn cappa that I have due. I might write later.
Peace and love

the isolated one

Long time in silence

2005-08-12T21:42:00.000-07:00

Where I decide to start is really irrelevant as so much has happened since I have written. I just haven't had the motivation. Most recently I have become the babysitter for staff and their unique ability to go on tequilla binges. The most recent event was actually on Thursday when we had a staff dinner. Half of our staff is underageand my boss wanted us to have a fun evening at Benny's. It is interesting to be the only sober person in a group of people who are shitfaced. I had to basically do anything that required any skill at all, like counting money. I would have been the driver for everyone but my car doesn't have enough room so I had to let them drive unfortunantly. Fun night, but I got to drink at home so it's all good. I still haven't went to a hookah bar but I will sometime... I have to relax at some point.

I also have began to move into my house except for the fact that I am not really moved and I go on vacation on monday. It should get hectic in about a week. I try not to think about it because it means that I have to start school and get to important work. I don't want to go back because while it will be fun, there are always uncertainties that linger in my mind about where I need to be going in my life. On a similar note I finally broke down and bought an IPOD so that I don't have to search my cd book for 1 song and then decide to find another. So far I am pleased with the convience that it offers.

Last week I had noodles for the first time and I will admit that the food is quite kick ass. On monday i get to go down to Mexico which should be nice. I haven't been racing in a long time in my car so that is a good thing. That is about all I have for now

Peace
Jens
P.S. When anyone decides on the movies on Sunday (Raven) let me know.

Random

2005-07-28T19:52:00.000-07:00

Well I guess I'll begin by saying that it was nice to be open for a day. Tuesday I ended up cleaning our pool for a half day because someone broke 3 bottles of hypnotic (SP), two 50 gallon barrels, and oddly enough a concrete and steel handicapped sign. Wednesday we opened to find a pile of crap in the pool. We opened after purging the pool and were open for 20 minutes before someone gashed open his foot on a piece of glass. Great fun and, well I hope that I can open the pool for tomorrow Peace
Jens

Welcome to Ruby Hill

2005-07-12T20:08:00.000-07:00

So here is how everything has been going. I finally got paid last Thursday ( I finally got on the payroll). Good news until I get an insurance bill that has finally found my ticket so that sucked. I also had to replace my brakes that I blew out while having fun on lowry. My weekend on the other hand sucked. I had to stay home rather than party because my grandpa came for the week. Today was very weird though. At work we got tested on backboarding and did alright but not 100%. We also had a little kid take a shit in the pool so we could close early. Oh... and my manager has decided to bring porn into work. I think it is a little unprofessional but my boss ( a woman mind you) decided to bring playboy to work to have the staff answer the question of whether or not they are real? Now don't get me mistaken I like women as much as the next man but when we have to answer to a mom why her 5 year old was able to view porn I don't want to be involved in the answer. I also am not a fan of porn because I find it degrading, but at least it was only a playboy which is more tasteful than most. I could say more but I will refrain and write more tomorrow.

Explain 1 thing

2005-07-03T20:27:00.000-07:00

Well It feels nice to write again. Free time seems to be little and far between. So my question is why does it always seem that the day I take my motorcycle to work it is a guarantee of rain. I mean the past week was about 90 gegrees almost every day I took my car and bicycle but today I take my motorcycle and rain is sure to come accompany me on my way home. Work is also not going really well. I enjoy it but after a month I really want to get a paycheck. Damn city and their system. Supposedly the check will appear this week which means that a celebration is called for. I don't know how I'm going to celebrate but I haven't really been able to wind down all summer so I'll think of something to do. On that note, does anyone know of any good party ideas...I am actually looking to do something on my birthday for a change. If anything gets decided I will let everyone know. I will also think about the upcoming weekend.
Love
Jens

I have learned...

2005-06-27T20:33:00.000-07:00

That racing can be very costly. My most recent incident includes a quick stop that resulted in my brake rotor getting a 1/4 inch groove all the way through the brake. Apparently as I was stopping for an idiot crossing the road I managed to go through the pads inth the brake rivits. It was a nice $51 bill that came unexpectdly. On the plus side no one was in my car at the time and I didn't crash. It was also less than the time that I hit my transmission pan going through an intersection and hitting something on the bottom. Well I have not much else to say because I have to get sleep for tennis and weight lifting before work tomorrow. The summer hasn't been as relaxing as I had hoped, too much work and a lack of sleep make it hard to plan for parties or even going anywhere.
Peace

another post inspired by music

2005-06-18T18:19:00.000-07:00

So I realize that I havent been up to date in my posting lately. When you go back to working full time coming home to blog kinda isn't in the cards. I have been reading what people say but I just don't feel like writing. That is until tonight. Music has the unique ability to make people think and reflect. With all of the recent shit that has been going on in my life and the end of it all I can't help to wonder where the future lies. My friends in the struggle have either been locked up or have went into hiding. Despite my best efforts to hold to the no racing policy that everyone tells me is the best thing to do I have gone back to street racing. I know that a lot of people who are close to me wish that that wouldn't go back I just can't convince myself that there is something or someone to outweigh the thrill of knowing that I made it by just a couple of feet. There isn't much else to do. Nothing to strive for and no one to answer to. I wish there was more to say but my days consits of work, weight lifting, racing and the damn TV. Peace and Love

Gunshots, jail and the Mafia

2005-06-02T20:30:00.001-07:00

At first these seem relate, but the past week has been incredibly weird. First the gunshots. Earlier in the week I woke up to the nice sounds of gunshots. At 3 in the morning the best thing I could have done was to have gone back to bed because guns don't bother me and it was outside. However I went upstairs and saw the dealer and a few of his friends running into his house followed by some unknown people. It kinda sucks but I don't think anyone was really hurt. Last friday night a good friend of mine who got expelled from TJ landed himself in jail. He is getting charged with second degree assult. All I have to say is wow. Everyone knows that there is a time and a place to kick someone's ass. While the timing was right, a public park is not the place. Like everything else, there is a time and place and getting those wrong can land you in jail. That is part of the reason why street racing is mostly done at night. As for the Mafia it is not exactly the best situation. Been there done that and I don't want to go back to being a driver. I have recently heard from some of my old friends from the mafia. Kinda odd but it's not something I want to do again. I also got back to lifeguarding which is nice because money isa good thing. Right now I am going to watch a movie and have something to drink.
Peace and Love
Jens

PS. Does anyone know who all is back from college yet. just wondering

summer enjoyment

2005-05-22T20:34:00.000-07:00

Well, I can finally have a real start to my summer that started about two weeks ago. I am finally feeling better and the damn fever seems to have gone away. Grades went well, 2 a's 3b's and one C. It was that damn chemistry final that took my B. Anyway I got an unexpected B in quant lab and the senile old teacher gave my an A so. I guess you could say that it went well. Now I just feel lost. 1 free week nothing really to accomplish...and then I start working. I have so many things that I want to do in my life, but not much that I have the means to be successful at. I am just frusterated at the situation that I am in right now so I think that I'm going to sleep and kick back and hope that I have a plan of action for tomorrow.
Peace
JJ

Great start to summer

2005-05-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

Hey eveyone. All I have to say is wow. Wednesday after I got home I had planned to do a lot of fun activities. Didn't go as I planned. I woke up and foung out that I had a temperature of 102. I still went out and had a litle fun. Friday night I went to elitches. I had fun and I met up with Abury and Ryan briefly. Saturday I had a tenmperature of 103 and ended up wearing a coat in the nice 70 degree weather. I washed cars and later got schooled by my dad on how to talk to women. I knew a year at mines would make my game a bit rusty but to get told by my dad...Oh yes and now I am sitting doing nothing as instructed by everyone which sucks. But I manage to watch the new family guy yesterday today. My new quote for the day is " Dear diary, Jackpot"- Quagmire Family guy. (old but great) For now I'm going to relax and prepare for for my one more day in hell... as I find out how I did on my chemistry final. Anyway Peace and Love and hit me back sometime
JJ

Summer is finally on

2005-05-12T20:49:00.000-07:00

Yea, I am finally officially done with a year of college. I have to say it was one hell of a year. It is interesting to reflect on how you react when you have no one to answer to for a year. Moving back in sucked considering that I have been sick for the past two days. Now I find myself locked down to possibly the worst internet I have ever had( I HAD IT BEFORE, but after the T1 this internet is just too slow.) Anyway I haven't really gotten to enjoy the break yet. I will try to get in touch with people in the next couple of days to find out what's going down. I also need to get on my motorcycle soon. Great fun is sure to ensue. As for my current plans tomorrow I plan to goto elitch's tomorrow night and possibly a hookha this weekend. Any suggestions for plans call me and let me know what's up.

Peace and Love
Jens

Screw this I'm done

2005-05-06T16:39:00.000-07:00

...well mentally I'm done. just three more finals and I get to be free for about two and a half months. Aw hell I cna't wait to get out of here. This week I had all of 5 classes and nothing to do. Boredom can kill and it has done just about that. I will be glad to get back to the work. Gotta get stacked ya know. I also can't wait for the women. If nothing else I am tired of the limited options at mines. On that topic I would like to update everyone who hasn't heard but Debiase has been charged by yet another girl. It is sad I know... and I didn't know him as well as a lot of you but I think that he needs our prayers.

Two other orders of business. First, I realize that not everyone is out yet but when everyone does get out we should have a party. I am not sure how to get everyone together but let me know. If you need to reach me you have my cell or look on facebook. Oh and for the second order of business I have been looking to go to a hookah bar sometime and I found a place called alladins (SP?). It is also a resturant so I might go in a couple of weeks ( after finals) if anyone wants to go let me know.

I am sorry that I have nothing else to say, finals are close and I have more on my mind. I will write throughout finals so for now.
Peace and Love
JJ

Hell yeah

2005-05-02T15:52:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I question what it is that I want from life. Is it really about the money, hoes, and power or should I go for what I really want. Well for the time being I have concluded that I like a little bit of both. Call it a duality of sorts but I think that it might be possible. In some aspects of my life I want the fun times, but I think that where it counts I really want specific goals. It is a great week to try a little of both seeing how after the hell that was last week, I now have a week that doesn't have a day past 12:00. 10 to twelve- good times. I really need to find something to do this week though because I personally don't want to play video games all that much. Oh and I found out that I can't fail calc without trying. I would need to get a 27 on the final. I don't think it is a real possibility. I will try to keep in touch with people for the summer so just let me know. It feels great to finally relax. With that I have nothing to report on currently so.
Love
Jens Jensen

2005-04-27T20:07:00.000-07:00

Damn, it sure feels good to finally take a step outside the fire for once. I can't believe how much has changed in the past few weeks. I have been running aroung like crazy. My dog died a little while ago, and we got a new dog last weekend. He is really cool but it takes some time to get used to. My family named him Duke. In addition our lepard geko died last weekend. Not much luck in the pets department. This week has just about wore me down completly. Don't get me wrong I am still kicking ass, but I am damn tired of the stress and other thoughts. I have been working on my design for the past week during all of my free time only to present the same presentation 3 times. On the plus side the client loved it and we now have to work on getting the copyright. Basically got my senile prof off my back so it works. I also had to study 400 questions for an earth test in four hours. I was pleased with my 81 considering the time constraints that I had. Oh and I had a chem test that I got a 93 on which sucks because now I have to study for the final and attempt the A. I hate chemistry and quant lab. One more calculus test and a lab that I dread and I am officially done. I also have loans to work on and scholarships as well as leases and work papers. Great fun is sure to ensue. Oh and in response to Raven's old post I think a party after classes get out would be the shit. Just hit me back and let me know what's up.Peace and Love,Jens JensenP.S. Does anyone know of a good hooka bar in Colorado. I heard that it is a really interesting experience and that I should try it, but I don't know where to go .

Two more daysof sanity

2005-04-06T21:15:00.000-07:00

I really don't know what to write about right now so I think I'll write about what's on my mind at the moment. This week is suppossed to be a short week, but the week doesn't seem to be all that short. I am only two days in and it feels like it should be Friday. I don't have any work this week, but it still feels long because of all of the work that I had to do and get grades on. Periods of intense work followed by relaxation- this pretty much defines mines. This week, for whatever reason has been more taxing than ever. I haven't gotten much sleep, and I think that I am becoming more level headed because I have stopped having a 12 pack of pop a day. Now I wait for e-days and hope that I can still get everything done that I need to. I did manage to get my i tunes working properly no thanks to IE. I have more on my mind, but I think that for the time being I shall reserve my personal thoughts to myself.
Peace and love
Jens Jensen

Sorry for the delay

2005-04-03T20:28:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone, I am sorry that I haven't written in about 2 weeks. I just have been in over my head lately. With all of the damn auto cad that I have had to do. After 2 solid weeks it gets old, especially with chemistry lab hanging over my head. I can't believe how much the world has changed. It hasn't all been good either. With Debiase getting accused of something that I really don't see him doing. It's quite sad, especially considering the fact that the accusations come from years ago. In my mind I can't help but shake the idea that the whole accusations were probably motivated by money. Money is an evil that is a strong motivator. More recently my dog died Friday morning and that kinda sucks. The Pope died Saturday which really sucks. In addition to that, I think that I think that I might have lost a good friend recently due to a miscommunication and I hope that our friendship doesn't end this way. I feel really bad about the situation and I do apologize for everything. Anyway I am still under pressure right now because I have Chemistry and design papers that I still haven't received grades on so I am a little stressed but I am trying to stay under the philosophy of never let them see you sweat. I just hope that these papers turn out alright but I will write when I know for sure.
Peace and Love
Jens Jensen

Hell Yeah I'm back

2005-03-17T15:31:00.000-07:00

That's right I am going to hold down my own ground now. It feels great to be on top of everything again. I have finally for the first real week of college been completely on top of everything. I got two test back that weren't questionable, and I got in all of my paperwork that I had to. One more test and I finally am given the opportunity to kick back in my own house and play by my own rules. Anyway have a good break everyone. Hit me on my phone if you need me.
I'm out
Jens

Thoughts

2005-03-13T22:06:00.000-07:00

I lay awake in my bed. I am not sleeping however, there is far too many things on my mind. As I drown myself in my thoughts I think of you and I am saddened. To think that we might be drifting apart saddens me. I think of all the fun we had together all the fun times. Even through the hard times you were always by my side. Even with all of my antics you were there. It is memorize like this that let people realize just how much love someone. As I sit there I think about losing you and the thought is unbearable. You have always been there for me and well I will always be there for you. You have always had a place in my heart and, although the times are hard know that I will not desert you in your Time of need
JJ
Peace

Sorry

2005-03-09T19:17:00.000-07:00

I would like to say that I am sorry for not responding to e-mail, comments, AIM, etc... After a couple of easy weeks I got hit by tons of work and projects. In addition the test have come and I really haven't had time to just sit and write. I have been horrible in answering people. It's not that I intentionally ignore people, I just have to study or do other work. I have been good with my phone though. In response to comments facebook is like blog except that you have to give a school e-mail and then you can connect to your school and high school. If you need more information go to thefacebook.com. Recently I have upgraded my hard drive to store more music. It is nice to take a breather though. I skipped earth today because it is pointless and I just needed to slow down a little. I generally am a lot stronger but I have been trying to make progress against brick walls lately and getting little results. That's all I have for now and I will try to get better answering people.
Peace
Jens

I HATE quant. Lab!!!

2005-03-03T17:05:00.000-07:00

Finally I am done for the day...well kinda. I had an epics meeting at 7:30 today. I will say that it is really hard to find motivation to get up and put on a suit to wear it for an hour when you're used to getting sleep. What's worse is that our teacher almost showed up too late and we almost cancelled the meeting. Our client was ready to leave when our teacher finally decided to show up. I then went to quant lab and well I thought I was there for 3 hours but that turned into 5 ( damn slow filtration). In addition I have to finish up calculations to get my lab in tomorrow. It's going to be a long night. It seems that everyone has stopped writing for a while, but I would like to thank everyone who got into facebook. When I finish my calculations I will try to play with facebook and see what all I can do in it.
Peace I'm out
Love ya'll always
Jens

Heads up

2005-03-02T20:24:00.000-07:00

I write tonight because it has been a long day. In addition tomorrow I have realized that I must take a little unorthodox approach in what I do in order to get through my day. I have to get up early and wing a design presentation that I received notice of today. I also have to work on Quant lab that is going to get really interesting. It seems that my relaxation has disappeared and has been replaced by mass chaos. All that I can hope for is that I can manage through the upcoming weeks. I also have had some other parts of my life blow up in my face. Just when I thought I had it all under control too. Now I have concluded that I am going to do things my way. I'm done trying to do things by the book. Suggestions are welcome but they won't necessarily be taken unless I want them or I think they are warranted. In other news I have finally posted information onto Facebook. As far as I know everything there is correct and when I have time I will figure out how to work with facebook. I also am now posting a link to a website that I think is interesting to read. However the website is not for people who are easily offended. http://maddox.xmission.com/. Anyway that's all I have for now,
Peace and Love
Jens Jensen

2005-03-01T22:10:00.000-07:00

After one truly easy week I have come to several conclusions on how to deal with the boring week that seems to currently be in the works. I hate to say this, but I think I have finished the difficult portion of the week already. Tonight I spent listening to music and well, thinking. I do have anticipation of next week simply because I think that two test are coming up next week. Currently I am relaxing and looking for way to have fun. The latter is seemingly more difficult to accomplish. I am getting the feeling that the campus runs opposite of my schedule. When I have time to do things there is nothing to do. However when I have deadlines that I have to meet the campus has a lot of activities. With all the time that I have had to gather my thoughts I have considered writing down my thoughts on a notepad. I haven't started but if I have any more free time I should start or I have also considered reading. I guess I'll just catch up on sleep for now and write something more meaningful later.
Peace
Jens Jensen

Going to class

2005-02-24T14:04:00.000-07:00

Interesting past 2 days. Let me explain, Yesterday I had a BS class at the end of the day. So I was supposed to make a rehearsal presentation for design. The team decided that it would be smart to arrive an hour early to get everything together. I did and as we went in to present our senile, idiot teacher ( Megan I am starting to see your point) Says that she screwed up and there isn't enough time. She goes on to say that we have to rehearse Monday at 4:30 which would have been nice except we have computer classes and we won't be able to get out early. We also have the a paper that was supposed to be due Wednesday due on Monday. Consequentially I have a meeting tomorrow and won't be able to drive to Boulder or if I do it will be around 5. Today I had the privilege ( or curse) of having a 15 minute-3 hour class. See last week I worked six hours in chemistry to get ahead. Now I was going to be done today, but the work that I am doing requires a week settling time. I made a solution in 15 minutes and couldn't go any farther. Very frustrating work. I can only pray for the weekend to end my week of boredom. Oh on a side note: if anyone needs to call me or has tried to call me please leave a message. I got a call in calc that was untraceable and no message so if you leave a message I will hit you back
Peace and Love
Jens

Boredom leaves one tired and restless

2005-02-22T18:24:00.000-07:00

I have spent this week so far by relaxing. I have done this not because I chose to relax, but because there is simply nothing to do. The exact reason that I stay off campus during the weekend: boredom. It seems to have found itself into my weekly activities. After playing video games, updating my music files, and doing little bits of homework that come my way, I am left with nothing to do. I am not saying that it is bad, it just leaves a lot to be desired. I really can't wait for the weekend so that I can have something to occupy my time. The one thing that I dislike more than failure and loss is having nothing to do. I hate a stagnate environment. For the time being I think that in order to recover from this week I might get out to boulder Thursday or Friday simply because there has to be more activity there than here. I think that I will try to entertain myself by music tonight to fight off the boredom.
Anyway
Peace and Love
Jens Jensen

Marriage

2005-02-20T22:43:00.000-07:00

NO this has nothing to do with me. This was one of the later " epiphany's " that I had during my weekend of interesting thought. I realized why the divorce rate is so high in America. I was watching TV and a the comedian that I was watching made the point that marriage vows come when sex is often and good. I spent 12 years in a Catholic schools and among the things I learned, I was taught through a WAIT class that sex is meant for after marriage. I might not live up to this ( although I have good in part to circumstances, a sad thing to admit as a guy even though I was/am a player of sorts) But that was the teaching. Then it dawned on me, people probably 2 generations older that me ( and luckily my parents) were raised on this teaching. Sex was never made to be the basis of a relationship, but people who were drilled that it was mandatory to wait married for the person for the person. They made relationships based on real love, and since no sex was involved, it didn't matter if it was part of the relationship or not. It would be a concept worth looking into. It is really funny when love begins to mean something, and it is that love that I have always understood as real. When you love someone, you will do whatever and that is why love is ultimately a compromise. On that note I just realized something, what is it with black and Asian women that make people crush so much( guilty)? Only really cared once but it seems that in terms of being a player I follow that pattern and crush a lot.
Can't explain it but hey, do how you do.
To all my G's and ladies out there
Peace and Love
Jens , The Scorpion King

Some *ssholes

2005-02-20T22:01:00.000-07:00

This is the second post that I had time to think about this weekend.
Warning: DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED. I REALIZE THAT PEOPLE MIGHT DISAGREE WITH ME ON THIS POST BUT THIS IS ONLY MY OPINION. THANK YOU

Now then I am writing this post to vent some of my more opinionated comments. I would like to start by mentioning that the only reason that I put the warning is so that is some idiot who doesn't know me manages to read this I don't want them to decide that they were offended and get some crooked lawyer who doesn't believe in free speech to try anything. I was reading a story like this is the news just recently. Some ***** decided to SUE two neighborhood girls who were placing cookies on front porches to be Nice. Yes they were practicing kindness and this woman apparently had to go to the hospital because they Rang the DOORBEll and she feared for her life and had to be taken to the hospital as a result. The sad part, the dumb lady was in the house with other people and it wasn't even really dark. My question is I don't believe that someone who has ill-will generally alerts you to their presence. Ding- Dong Yes I am going to rob you but I thought you should come down to see me beforehand. The other sad part, A lawyer actually took her case. I am sick of these people who are too damn lazy to actually work so they feel that it is ok to be a parasite on legititimate business and individuals who actually work hard to make a living. And these lawyers who actually say ' hey I like screwing hard working people out of their money, count me in' These people make good people scared to actually be kind because they might get sued for trying to be kind. I don't want to have to tell my children about how I remember back in the day when it was ok to make a kind gesture. " Yes children I remember a time when people actually worked and cared for one another." I would like to point out that I don't criticize all lawyers here only those who take B.S. cases like these.
On a different note I would like to congratulate all those who commit suicide . Not that I think suicide is good, but if you really felt that you couldn't put up with life, then you probably weren't strong enough to live anyway. Your spot on this planet will be filled by someone who can be a productive member of society. I DON'T encourage suicide, as I have contemplated it myself. I thank all of my friends and family though because I realized that you all supported me and cared I don't want to go to that place again. When you feel that you have lost everything, it is good to find that you still have something to cling to. The last point that I would like to touch on is preppy people. In order to not repeat what has been said, I just wonder what it must feel like to be exactly like everyone else?
Peace
JJ Scorpion King

The problem of overthinking

2005-02-20T21:23:00.000-07:00

So here is the base for this post: This weekend I was sick and I was at home. During this time I have had time to think about many things and so I have this post and at least two others that come as a result of too much time thinking. That brings me to this post

One of the things that has always been on my shoulders, and that few people know is that I hate the tendency that I have to overthink things. That isn't really a problem except for the fact that it is this that has made me be reserved and silent when my mind was screaming for me to go forward. It's like having a little voice ( don't worry I don't hear voices) that conflicts itself. One example that I have had was years ago in the mountains. It was eight grade retreat and I wanted to tell someone how I really felt about the current situation we were in. I really did, but in my head I was already overthinking what consequences would come to our relationship as a result of what needed to be said. I never opened my mouth when it counted and ultimately destroyed whatever ties we had. The horrible thing is that this tendency plaques everything I say and do. I get to a point and say the risk to what is is too great and I almost always regret not saying what I wanted to or doing what I really wanted. I am sorry to anyone who has also hesitated as a result of my hesitation. My biggest regret that I have the not knowing what would have actually happened had I been strong enough to accept the consequences of saying what was really going through my mind. My old friend from TJ was right in saying that some things just need to be done and not really overthought. Can't change the past though so...
Peace Jens Jensen

Thank God it's over

2005-02-17T15:05:00.000-07:00

Well, sorry for not writing anything other than the personal article this week. Just so we're clear I wrote that article when I was meditating to music so it came more from the heart that logic. I'll try that more often, it was a blast to write. I haven't written in a while because this week has proven to be more stressful than I ever planned on. Test and labs, and just about everything in the past 4 days. On a happy note I kicked my calculus test's ass. All I have to say about that is it is about damn time. Today I had a 3 hour quant lab for 6 hours because my results last week sucked and I had to redo the test. Now however I am , if not a little ahead, at least done to where I am supposed to be. I have also been sick this week which sucks. I can't talk above a whisper and I have the chills from time to time. I did switch to firefox this week and I must say that it is 100% better internet than IE. In response to " the village idiot" My friends status is unknown at this time, and the article wasn't related to that however. Happy SAD to everyone
Peace and Love
Jens Jensen

2005-02-13T22:12:00.000-07:00

And so I sit, staring blankly into a computer screen, thinking about you. I think of all the fun times that we had, the fun, the joy, and the hard times. Thinking about how you were always by my side always ready to stand by me. Sure I was stupid at times and silent when there was so much that needed to be said. But the past can not change the present, and so I sit thinking about you, saddenend evermore by time. So close, yet so far. Though I can't change time and can't change what did or didn't happen, You are always with me in my memories.

Crappy Holidays

2005-02-08T21:20:00.000-07:00

So, walking back from my chemistry lab that I didn't have, I came upon an interesting banner on the bulletin board. Apparently our college supports the high school mentality of valentine date auctions. Ignoring the fact that it might have some legitimate use at mines because the guy/girl ratio sucks, I thought that it was still a high school practice. After arriving at my dorm it hit me, isn't valentine's day a BS holiday anyway. I realized that, while being single on valentines sucks, I have gotten use to it and it must really suck to have a date for valentines. I say this because hallmark made a holiday in which guys feel obligated to buy roses and other meaningless crap. So I therefore have a solution based on personal experience for all of the guys out there. I have only been in love with 4 girls in my lifetime, and I learned that every time LOVE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH TIME. Love is a feeling that is an everyday thing. Therefore if you really care about a girl, every time that you are together should be cherished, and expressions of love should not be more prevalent 1 day a year. If this doesn't apply to you then the other advice I have is remember this there is nothing wrong with a little "bump and grind" I just think that, if you really are in love, there is no reason for Valentine's day.
Peace and Love
Jens

Sleep inducing caffeine?

2005-02-07T23:40:00.000-07:00

I have come to the conclusion that I need to drink a lot less caffeine in a day than I do. I found this out after finishing 6 cans of pop and feeling incredibly tired at the end of the day. I don't think that a long, cold day helped me much either but... When you fail to focus on anything specific at the end of your day it is a bad thing. I did manage to get all of my homework done, but I feel like I took nyQuil, or something equivalent. On another note I apologize for not posting any pictures, but I have to wait before I can get more pictures. I really need sleep now, so I guess I will call it a night early and get rest for chem lab tomorrow. Peace and love
Jens

Back up and running

2005-02-06T22:46:00.000-07:00

Hey, I'm finally back at home, well school at least. I hope that everyone is fine. My week just seems to collect more work as it goes on. I haven't started yet, but when my roommate reminded me about map making I said "dam". More work and it doesn't help when the library conviently closes at 10. Anyway This weekend I managed to go snowboarding again this weekend. Good times, but now I have to deal with the boredom of mines for yet another week. I find it ironic that I have a lot of work to do and yet I still find myself bored at night. I don't generally write about the current events but, I find it interesting that I have found myself listening to music recently to relax. Suprisingly enough I find that the slower, more romantic songs work so much better when relaxing than anything else. Maybe I'm weird but these songs should be saddening and disheartening to a retired player who missed out in the search for the life of fun and relaxing. They always say that reflection sucks, but it seems to work when you need to find out how to get where your going. Peace
Jens

Relief at last!!!

2005-02-03T22:13:00.000-07:00

Hell yeah. I am finally free for the rest of the week. Done with Chemistry and everything. I think that I did really well on the test which is good. I will say that it has been a hell of a week. Really fun and there was no really boring moments. A personal shot out to everyone who was here to have a great time. From snowboarding to the party to paintballing. A new job made yesterday hectic, and today was strictly chemistry. If anyone wants to do anything this weekend or tomorrow night just give me a call and I'll figure it out. This weekend is definitly time for a holiday. Last night I was drained and passed out around 9 so... Time for some R&R for a couple of days.
Peace and Love everyone
Jens

Housekeeping Memorandum

2005-02-01T22:54:00.000-07:00

Don't question the the title but here is what I throw out to everyone. I would e-mail everyone, but I can't get to everyone that way. Anyway I was was wondering if everyone would like to get together sometime Friday or Saturday evening. I don't really know what we could do, but if everyone wants to, I could ask my parents if it would work( it probably would). If not then I hope that everyone is doing well and that everyone is still alive. ( sorry Raven, I had to throw that in). Peace
Jens

Procrastination and indecisiveness

2005-02-01T19:55:00.000-07:00

This week has been one of the best weeks ( and by far the busiest ) that I have had all semester. As of last Friday I had to get to Denver by 6 because I had dinner arrangements with my family and my Grandpa. It was really fun and Saturday was uneventful. Sunday was incredibly fun because I ( as most of you know) got to go snowboarding. Monday was typical class and the party was really fun. The people on my floor wondered why I disappeared last night but... well whatever. And now today I find my one really normal day and I start lifeguarding tomorrow. However, I also find myself writing when I should be doing various homework assignments. Tomorrow I go paintballing for the first time. It should be interesting. Now however I find myself doing what a good friend once told my never to do. I have come to the point where certain decisions that come in the near future are left to me decision on how I want to proceed. My friend always told my to be decisive in your words and actions. To be concise and certain. Second guessing never accomplishes anything, so I am going to sleep and collect my thoughts on what exactly what I want to do and follow accordingly. More on this Later .... Peace and Love
Jens Jensen

I am convinced...

2005-01-24T19:28:00.000-07:00

that on a regular basis mines is incredibly boring. Once again I am writing because I have a lack of productive things to do. I like being at mines, but every night there is seemingly nothing to do except play video games. It is beginning to get to me because I am trying to keep myself entertained, but I ran out of ideas. If anyone can tell me something that I can do please let me know. The video games are getting quite tiring.
Peace and Love
Jens Jensen

Living life

2005-01-19T22:52:00.000-07:00

There comes a time in everyone's life when they realize that there are some things that are never going to change. I have come to realize that racing was fun and that I can't really afford to screw up. I want to make it clear that I am not really depressed or anything, it's just that everything is finally moving and some aspects of my life are really bearing down on my mind. I am losing contact with a lot of people who mean a lot to me and well, I can't change that but the things that used to matter to me such as love, family, and friends are falling away to progress. I guess I am just really scared for the impending future because, as I have heard before, I am losing my sense of direction and just chasing an uncertain future that holds very little of value. Peace out
Jens

R&R in School?

2005-01-18T22:48:00.000-07:00

Yo, just kinda chillin' right now. This semester is quite different than last, I actually have great profs. Calculus is slow, but it is actually really easy with my new teacher. It is a sort of relaxed schooling now. I realize that it will get harder, but for some reason I have been feeling really relaxed, and dare I say it happy. I haven't been really happy since about a year and 4 months ago. A lot of crap happened from then to recently, and now it looks like I am actually dynamic again. No more crap, and I am in control of my life. Only one thing in my life is frustrating now and I prefer not to mention it here. I hope that everyone is fine and well lets hope that everything is moving. Oh I almost forgot, is Raven dead or does she not post blog anymore . I just haven't read anything from her in a while. Anyway peace
Jens Jensen

music

2005-01-12T22:29:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, sup? I am doing fine myself and, as far as I can tell everyone else is doing likewise, except for Raven who is conspicuously silent. I have began playing computer games this week and... well lets just say they are very addictive. I am a very lucky man in that I had class today, but I happen to have tomorrow off. It is the joy of starting on a Wednesday. I think that I might have myself a nice drive down 93 to Boulder. No reason other than the belief that boredom needs to be avoided. As for tonight I am listening to Money, Cash, and Hoes. Fun song that envisions the street lifestyle. I am convinced now that Calculus will be the easiest class that I have. Today was a lesson on functions which was so slow one could say that we were just learning the concept. It is going to bea nice semester. Peace out to all my people everywhere.
JJ

The end of a long silence

2005-01-10T19:49:00.000-07:00

In looking at my blog I can not imagine how long it has been since I last posted. Well now that everyone knows that I am not dead It is time to write. I have been having a sort of extended holiday in the past week. I hate to admit that I have gotten incredibly lucky in the past week. I recieved my car insurance bill and even though I tend to not be the slowest driver, I managed to avoid getting caught for my ticket that I got on my way to hell( you wouldn't get it unless you've been there.) It is nice to get a $300 bill rather than a 4 or 5 hundred dollar bill. This is especially nice when I have a motorcycle insurance bill on the way. I finally updated my computer handle games that I like to play. I will finally get my AIM back on in a couple days when I get back to mines.(not to mention the fast internet) I also broke down and bought a new cell phone. It is NOT a new number, and I apologize to Katie for the broken conversation that I got on my old one. Without an antenna it didn't pick up all that well. I know that I have been bad at keeping up on my contacts and I hope to do better this semester. Maybe call people or email or whatever. ANyway I hope that everyone had fun over break and... well peace out. I wil post more shortly.
Jens - The scorpion king

The inevitable boredom of break

2004-12-30T11:12:00.000-07:00

I know that christmas break is meant to be a relief from all of the stress and monotomy of school. However, I have concludd that break is becoming increadibly boring. Me friend who lost his mind has, for a while anyway provided some interest. He as of a week ago got kicked out of his house for a couple of days after his parents found him smoking pot in the basement with some( I don't know how many ) underage girls. Probably one of his bigger mistakes. He is back in his house under contract now and he brought some new friends to my house in the meantime. They all come from the ghetto and the majority of them are coke addicts. As you can probably see my parents were less than pleased when he showed up at my door with these other people. We did talk for a little bit while I waited for half life 2 to install on my nice dial up internet( I miss having T1.) Other than that my holiday has been very boring and I hope that everyone else is having fun. To everyone reading this from Machebeuf, we should try to plan something before everyone has to go back to school. Peace
Jens

Finally over

2004-12-17T16:29:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone, yes I am, unfortunantly, still alive. Final are finally over and now it is time to sit back and relax during the holidays. I hope that everyone is doing well and I hope that final went well for everyone. Well I hate to be brief but if anyone needs anything or needs to talk to me I will be home at Denver for the next month before I go back for more torture.
Peace
Jens

Work, Work and more work

2004-12-08T19:38:00.000-07:00

Yo, sorry for no formal introduction, but I'm mentally blown. I am finally trying to come back to a normal after 5 straight days of little food, and a lot of work. In addition there was hardly any sleep involved. Anyone who has ever been in a design program knows that the final report sucks. I had my work done on Monday, but one of our group members decided that we needed a new template for all of our drawings. "fun" was my first thought more work for the drawings and reports that I already did. So I did them again, but I didn't know to center my notes on my drawings, so I had to redo them. On top of this nuisance I had an NHV paper that I had to write. This paper was 5 pages long, but the research was horrible. Now I have roughly 100 pages of documents to turn in. My printer is begging for relief and I need to get sleep to study for chemistry. Then it is over and I will be happy.
Peace
Jens

A breath of air

2004-12-05T21:34:00.000-07:00

Hey it's me again. Ahhhhhhh... it's good to finally get a break from the stress of papers. For the last two days I have done nothing but technical reports and essays. Now it's time for chemistry studing. I hate to report this but I will have to retake calculus. It sucks, but in hard times hard decisions have to be made. I trust that in the end it will all work out. Now I have only to study chemistry and put the final touches on the drawings. 1 more week and it's finally over and then it's time for some R&R.
Peace and Love
Jens

the beginning of the end

2004-11-30T22:24:00.000-07:00

To all my people:
Just writing to everyone to say that I can't believe that the semester is almost over. With this thought I can say that I both dread this time and also look forward to it. It means that there are 2 technical reports due, my last calculus test was tonight, and 2 final exams. Unfortunately it also means that I can take a month off for relaxation. Just chillin' down at HQ. Today has been a relatively good day. I finally got my I-tunes program running on my computer and I now get more music than I care to listen to. I also have off until 12 tomorrow which is nice. There are very little things at mines that beat sleep. Anyway, I hope that everyone is doing well and I wish you all the best in the last few weeks. I wish I could talk to you guys more than over blog but. I'll try to use aim more and talk to you all. As for break, send me ideas and maybe we could try to get together.
Peace and love from mines HQ
Jens

Thanksgiving

2004-11-29T09:52:00.000-07:00

Well I can say that my thanksgiving went very well. As much R&R that I could expect to get. I went up to Flouresant on Thursday for thanksgiving. Nice cabin up there but there isn't much to do. It was fun seeing family though and the food was really good. Then I went home and went to relax. I also went snowboarding on Saturday which was really fun. I got to see some of my old friends that I haven't seen in a long time. By the way we should do something like that again some time. Sunday was pretty uneventful that 6th is unplowed and is therefore very fun to drive on. Now I am back and trying to make a dent in the work that I have to have done in a few weeks. Anyway peace
Jens

Finally over

2004-11-23T21:14:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,
Yeah I know, it's me again but I have some good news. My week have been stressful, but now the rest of the semester is easy. However there are some contingencies, first chemistry, I bombed the last test but it doesn't count. Epics and all of my engineering projects are really easy and I always do well. So now I have been given some true R&R. Ian is still out of his mind, but I won't be able to go to the streets this weekend to find out the deal. I hope that everyone is doing well and I hope everyone has fun over thanksgiving. I am done at 12 AM tomorrow. All because of stupid calc. Anyway if anything is going down,(besides Saturday) just inform me before tomorrow night and I will get everything settled.

Peace out
Jens

2004-11-22T16:46:00.000-07:00

Picture from the HQ in D- Town

R&R don't mix with stress

2004-11-21T20:54:00.000-07:00

Yo, sup?
I am in an excellent way now, but the weekend in which I wanted to relax didn't work out. As I mentioned earlier my friend of many years has recently lost his mind. Two weeks age I lost all contact with him unexpectedly. This weekend I have recieved word that he is in serious danger. He has recently joined the bloods on the streets. He has in the past two weeks been shot at, he has gotten drunk almost to the point of achohol poisoning, and he has worked his way into academic probation at TJ in order to avoid expulsion. This information was given to me by my parents when he arrived at my crib wednesday because his parents took away his key so that he has to go home when they are home. This frightens me because I don't want him to die or get screwed by the cops. In addition, there are test and other work that has to get done. I also am trying to deal with the fact that I chose to leave the player lifestyle. It was very fun and I have no idea what to do if I have to leave it permantly. Anyway, all said and done I guess I will just have to work through it all and hope for the best.
Peace and Love
Jens

2 more days

2004-11-20T20:12:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone,
I'm writing from Denver tonight ( imagine that) and I would just like to let everyone know that we are schedules to get a foot of snow. I am very excited. Unfortunantly for me, if we get a lot of snow in Golden it will be harder for me to get back up for the roughly 5 more classes before thanksgiving. It is a good thing that I came down though so that I could recieve my motorcycle insurance bill.( always a good thing) So here I sit, again just cathching up on sleep and working on final presentations. Next week should prove to be fun though because I get to go to a family gathering in the mountians. I love my family so it should be a good time. I do have bad news about one of my friends down here, but I don't want to write about it in this post. I will say that I worry for him and I hope that he can get on top of his ____ soon. As for everyone else I will make this brief. I hope that you all have a wonderful thanksgiving and if anyone needs to reach me for anything, use the link on my profile page and give me an e-mail. If you have my cell you can reach me there but you might have to leave a voice message and I'll get back to you.
Peace and love
Jens

Cell Phones

2004-11-18T09:06:00.000-07:00

Hello to everyone. I have as of last night came to the conclusion that cell phones are evil. Keeping in mind that I have a cell phone, I will say that they are convenient to get in touch with people. However I have come to the conclusion that they are evil because of last night. Last night one of my roommate friends came over because she wanted help studying for the chemistry exam. This would have been fine, except that her phone went off 2 minutes into the studying. After that it went off consistently for no less than an hour and a half. After this time, Chris(roommate and I) were done and she hadn't finished the first problem. Now I understand the occasional call, but to be committed to your phone enough that when you want help, you still feel the requirement to answer it every time it rings? I assure you that I will call back, but I won't necessarily take the call right when it rings if I am unable to (racing, class, test, etc.) I just thought I should point out that a society shouldn't be that attached to our technology that it takes precedence over people.

Peace
Jens

Boredom is my enemy

2004-11-16T22:31:00.000-07:00

Hey, what's up everyone? Kinda a general question to everyone who reads this but now to my point. I am writing simply because there is absolutely nothing else to do. I hope that this is not the case universally. After doing homework and listening to music I find myself at a loss of activities to do. Seeing as I have retired from flirting and what not and I have no girlfriend currently, I find myself staring at a blank monitor. It is quite funny that there is a college (mines) that does absolutely nothing outside of video games during the week. However, I will attempt to end the boredom by going for a drive tomorrow ( for those who know what I have done relax) racing is reserved for the weekends when I go back to Denver. I would write more tonight but I should probably go to bed so that I can catch up on the sleep that I have been neglecting.
Peace
Jens

Hello to everyone: startling news

2004-11-15T18:07:00.000-07:00

Hello again, I know that I usually write on lighter topics, but I am forced today to address an issue that has been on my mind now for as long as I can remember. I have recently had the unwanted experience of an epiphany ( for lack of better words I use Ravens definition). I have, by reading through my old post and notebooks, realized that I have unfortunately, changed a lot. I used to believe that love was something that was unique and something to be cherished. It was something that I sought. Apparently, however, as I have began to reject love and lean more to the player mentality, I have become alarmed. Today I have realized that it was failure that drove me to this mentality, and I have concluded that being a player has no real benefit aside from the obvious advantages. It is not a really fulfilling lifestyle, fun but not fulfilling. I have therefore concluded that I will retire for a while at least and ponder which path I should take. Again peace to my homies and I hope you all support this decision.
Peace
Jens

Back again

2004-11-14T22:13:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, I am back at mines for another exciting week of boredom and work. Well, not as much work as boredom. It'll be better as soon as I find something to do with my time. The weekend was nice, I worked on my car and washed it. I also played Halo 2. It is the kick ass game that has infected the school of mines. The majority of people on the floor play it constantly. I hope that it dies before the chem test Thursday or a lot of people will be regretting it. While I was taking it easy at home people were getting busted for achohol and getting away with slip and slide in the hallway. Figures, I decided to go home again to go away from boredom, and it finally gets interesting. I am finally getting to realize that college life is expensive. But that doesn't really matter because living the G code is a good way to keep all of life's problems in order. That being said I will say that I am failing at two of the precepts of the G code, gut this is explained in the fact that I go to mines and I will be well educated after my completion. I have more to write, but I'll save that for another day. For now I'm going to sit and get ready for another week.
Peace
Jens

Peace out

2004-11-12T16:01:00.000-07:00

Hey, sup? I was just writing to wish everyone a good weekend, and let everyone know that I will be gone ( back in Denver) for the weekend- just like every other weekend. I doubt that it is important but if anyone needs to reach me either call me or e-mail me. I will have very limited internet in the weekend. Peace, and remember, do how you do.
Jens

The relief of Thursday

2004-11-11T16:16:00.000-07:00

Well, I know the title sounds weird but I am glad that today is finally over. I finally don't have to do anymore epics work for a while. I ended up with a 16 page report that was done over the course of 1 week. I did however have to skip out of gym today to complete the project.(because I went to boulder for 4 hours and couldn't finish the project up there. However, it was very fun to go up there. Last night was extremely cold though and Boulder is a huge place to walk around. Sorry to everyone that I know up there, I would have said hi but I don't know where you all are or how to contact you. Well, I might write another post later, but for now I am going to sit back and just relax and enjoy the weekend.
Peace
Jens

Today

2004-11-10T10:18:00.000-07:00

Hey,
Just writing for the hell of it. I can't possibly do any more epics work before calculus, so I decided to be productive and make a post. I can't wait for tomorrow to be over. That means that I will have no epics to do until the final. Unfortunately, I have to finish my project today and go to Boulder. It should be fun, but it also makes my night extremely long. I plan to get to boulder in about 3 minutes (fun driving tonight unless it snows). Well I would write a lot but I have to go to calculus and then I go directly to work. I only have to say that I finally got my printer cartridge which is nice because I no longer have to go to the library.
Peace,
Jens

Responses to comments

2004-11-08T21:25:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,
I have decided that I need to make a post that answers the comments to my previous posts. I don't really have anything new to write. It is just another boring week, except for the fact that I have an epics project that I am neglecting at the moment. The only new news that I have to post is that I actually did good on a calculus quiz today. Now I will respond to the comments. In response to Katy, it's cool. I understand because I go home almost every weekend and I usually have to do other things that keep me busy. I hope that snowboarding was fun, I haven't been able to get to the slopes yet, but I will one of these days. A "player's holiday" is basically a day when anything goes and there is not really any one agenda. It is basically a day to have fun and do what you want to do. I'll try to talk to you on e-mail when I get a chance and I'm not working on EPICS.
Raven, sure I'll try to visit. I won't be down until about 7pm. I am going down for a movie on skiing and snowboarding. Just write me or call and I'll see if I can say hi to everyone down there. Anyway, Peace to all my people everywhere and have a good week. Now I have to return to my EPICS project that I don't want to do.

The start of another week

2004-11-07T19:49:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,
Well it is the start of another week. I haven't been able to write because I took a "player's " holiday in Denver. It was a hell of thing. Having fun and doing things that have a purpose(not calculus). Other than a little racing and a little bit of my motorcycle, nothing out of the ordinary. Everyone needs to take a holiday now and again. Relax and forget all of life's little problems. Anyway, I hope everyone had a good weekend, and I hope that you (Raven) got some of the sleep that you were talking about. This week is going to suck, but I get to go to Boulder Wednesday night, which will hopefully break up the week. Well, I wish the best for everyone and now I must go and start on homework for tomorrow.
Peace,
jeans