The silent assassin

The problem of overthinking

So here is the base for this post: This weekend I was sick and I was at home. During this time I have had time to think about many things and so I have this post and at least two others that come as a result of too much time thinking. That brings me to this post

One of the things that has always been on my shoulders, and that few people know is that I hate the tendency that I have to overthink things. That isn't really a problem except for the fact that it is this that has made me be reserved and silent when my mind was screaming for me to go forward. It's like having a little voice ( don't worry I don't hear voices) that conflicts itself. One example that I have had was years ago in the mountains. It was eight grade retreat and I wanted to tell someone how I really felt about the current situation we were in. I really did, but in my head I was already overthinking what consequences would come to our relationship as a result of what needed to be said. I never opened my mouth when it counted and ultimately destroyed whatever ties we had. The horrible thing is that this tendency plaques everything I say and do. I get to a point and say the risk to what is is too great and I almost always regret not saying what I wanted to or doing what I really wanted. I am sorry to anyone who has also hesitated as a result of my hesitation. My biggest regret that I have the not knowing what would have actually happened had I been strong enough to accept the consequences of saying what was really going through my mind. My old friend from TJ was right in saying that some things just need to be done and not really overthought. Can't change the past though so...
Peace Jens Jensen

posted by J @ 9:23 PM