The silent assassin

lovely isolation

you ever have that feeling of being all alone. I have decided that it kinda sucks, being the oddball out . It is fun for a while until no one seems to get you. no one understands why I have a lot of respect for women. No one seems to understands when I tell them that there is a difference between sex and love. Most people now want to see me get laid, because well they think I need it. I can understand the point, but unfortunately there is something that I was told way back by a friend who had more women than I care to count. Of them all he says that it is by far the best thing to have the first person be the one that means something to you. Then i didn't really understand, but well it makes a lot of sense. There is a definite line between sex and love. Love is something that can't be bought. Love means more than anything else. In addition people think I should start getting numbers. It has never been my thing, especially because well being shy and it just feels wrong to ask out of the blue. Definitely not something I got from my mom. It just leaves my torn because I understand what my friends want to do, and I think they might be right, but I just cant reconcile these two opposing views in my mind. it really sucks to be indecisive but feel that a decision must be made. Being alone kinda sucks, but I just can't bring myself to cross the threshold. What is certain now is that I have work in the morning and staying up isn't going to help me all that much. How do you tell someone from the shadows that you love them. Showing no emotion has its benefits, but after awhile they build up. I really wish that people would just tell you how they feel so that even if they were pissed, you wouldn't have to bite your damn tongue and hide how you really feel.

I know that made no sense, but it will only mean something to a few people so have fun. Cryptic, it's how I roll, but I was serious if you know what I mean. oh and I am probably starting tango lessons soon, a little longer for guitar.

Baby, you may hate me, but know that I am always here for you and I always will be. God I hate being shy
Love always
Your Jensipoo

posted by J @ 11:55 PM