Thursday, November 01, 2007

the true way to piss me off

So sorry I haven't wrote but i have been busy collecting my mental stability. I can't believe that my roommates almost got me to snap and actually fight back. I don't really enjoy fighting because well I just don't see the point in it. Shit got bad on Sunday when I had problems working on cars, my parents knew I was under a lot of stress and that I was kinda depressed. However they decided that this was the perfect time to attack me on virtually everything that was stressful, including school, money, my broken car, my phone, my girlfriend ( although she came to my side later and allowed me to hold it together) I had to leave because although it was a dick move on their part I love my family just like I love my friends and roommates. It was a 7 minute drive to Golden where my roommates began to fuck with me and give me shit for not hugging my girlfriend over the weekend. They will never understand that it isn't that I didn't want to it is that I very seldom actually have feelings for someone and that I no longer trust my intuitions because the last girl I loved and thought that she felt the same way threw it in my face and it really hurt. As a result I just don't trust my intuitions about people or situations. Anyway they tried to piss me off and since i was already knocked off balance I almost broke and fought back. I am lucky that I have a massive tolerance for anger because for almost anyone else they would have cracked. Bottling up stress, depression and then adding anger on top is not good for the body. So the real key to piss me off is to know that I'm stressed, and depressed and then attack me directly for something that is already on my mind, not indirectly . And for my roommates(AJ) who will be reading this Sunday was a dick thing to do, but it only works if I'm stressed and depressed like Sunday, and you have to know what is bugging me and hit it directly. If I'm on center forget it because I have more tolerance for your shit than you will ever know.
Peace and Love
Jens