The silent assassin

women

First off my condolences to Virginia Tech. It was really shitty and I am really sorry for the students that lost their lives in this mindless act of violence.
So, after today I can say that I might have really made a mistake. There is a girl I work with, very nice, great personality, but there is absolutely no spark of physical attraction at all. Now this would be harmless except for the fact that I guess I said I liked talking to her, and now everyone at work wants to hook us up. I don't really want to hook up but I'm sure that soon enough I will have to make a choice that I really don't want to make. I don't mean to be shallow but doesn't there need to be some actual physical attraction in a relationship. I mean there needs to be a balance between personality and attraction. I just don't know what to say when the time comes, especially when I have no excuse not to. I just feel that there are a few other girls out there that I am attracted to that I actually get the feeling of attraction. Hell one of these 4 girls ( I think they know) even goes to mines. The only reason I haven't pursued anything is because they are all friends and I don't really want to make my friendships awkward because I said something that wasn't taken very well. I tried it before and it ended in a great date, but it made everything awkward. I would ideally like to have a reason to say no to the girl at work just because while she is a great friend, there isn't a spark and that is kinda a little important.

On another note I was told that apparently I never try to go out on dates. I was talking with a roommate who said he had some spare time next semester and I told him that he should go and try to find a girlfriend. Now there is a girl that he is close friends with ( but not dating... yet) and I think she took offense to the comment because she told me that I need to go looking way before he does. I have been looking, but the problem is that I can't say anything because my track record in dating is shit. A few isolated dates that always end up in the rejection. I don't get why because I don't think that I have really done anything horrible. I really just need someone to explain to me what I did wrong that I can be dated but not really as a boyfriend. I didn't respond to her comment, but it isn't that I'm not trying, it is that I am shy, and when I do try to finally try dating I seem to always get shot down after 1 date. I guess it is just the unwritten law that I am not datable. I don't know but any suggestions are welcome?

Peace and Love
Jens

posted by J @ 7:05 PM 0 comments

E-days

So e-days is over and well it is definitely time to recover. It was a blast, but it definitely is nice to just sit back and let things return to normal. I will let everyone know when the fireworks are rescheduled ( they got canceled due to snow and they will hopefully have them later.) Flogging Molly was a great concert and the comedians were good. I was really impressed with everything. The barbecue was really fun, although I don't remember all of it ( guess why). I will say that for part of the barbecue everything was really funny (I won't say why but let's just say walking was incredibly difficult and yes I was more or less sober for the comedian.) Never again though will I be so gone. No one I invited showed up to the barbecue though which kinda sucked ( yes I know some people had other obligations and that's fine) It is never a good thing to eat chips all night and then still wake up hungry though I have decided. I went to a car show today that was great ( with my parents) and we took the light rail. Let me just say that I was very impressed with the light rail and the auto convention. It is nice to be able to play around in all of the cars that you always wanted to without the hassle of a dealer standing over your shoulder. I also realized this weekend that I really suck at telling women how I really feel. If you have ever had the feeling that you wanted to just blurt out something like say "you're attractive and I really like you" but you can't because it just feels inappropriate. All of my roommates know that I like a few girls and they know I just want to say something. They also give me shit for losing my confidence ( and my balls) when it comes to the wire. I don't know why it happens, but I always end up becoming a friend and then I can never say anything. I can tell you that it has happened more than once. and I have actually made shit awkward when I tried to say something and found out that shit wasn't there and then my friend got her. Anyway peace and love
Jens

posted by J @ 8:46 PM 1 comments